Another cycle ends – transformation and connecting with my feelings associated.

#It’s an inside journey#

It seems lately there is less time to write as much as I used to be able too.  I find myself feeling emotional today, as I am coming to an end of another cycle, what is it about endings that evoke so much emotion, even knowing that every ending is going to open a new doorway.  An example I can think of, is this, ending a relationship that is negative, dysfunctional and has evoked negative emotions associated, one would imagine that one would feel “Happy” and yet the feelings that arise, are feelings of loss, and then there is the cycle of emotions that give rise to grieving.  This is an example to understand.

I say goodbye this week to a role that has come to completion for 2 years, it has been an experience of both positive and negative, positive because of the connections made, the laughter, the giggles, connecting with new people, being able to be a listening ear to those that have needed it, even being a listening ear to those who have projected their anger, because of the space that they were in at the time.  The negative the demands on the physical and emotional body.  I feel it is now time to close that door and say “Goodbye and “Thank you” for the journey, the experience, the highs and the lows.  But isn’t it amazing how closing doors, brings you closer to your emotions of loss, from previous doors that you have closed, or in some cases, closed because you had no choice, because closure may not have been completely possible.

I have just finished today, my 2nd job for the week, this will end next month, it is time for a new chapter, new beginnings, and even knowing that this will usher in new growth, I cannot help but feel a tinge of emotions, like awww, it feels a little sad, it has reminded me of other losses.  You see my viewpoint is this, that in this life, this fast paced western world we are so very busy pressing on, not giving ourselves time to process our emotions, our feelings associated with whatever we may be experiencing that we can if not careful walk around like we are “dead” emotionless, unfeeling, detached from our inner core emotions, and that in my mind is not good for the Mind, Body nor the Spirit.

I understand for many a feeling person who is in touch with their emotions, can feel too intense for many who choose to lock their emotions away, detach from them, store them in a box, never to open Pandora’s box until “Spirit” or the “Universe” decide to give you a situation or scenario, whereby you have to revisit, can you imagine for a moment that had you have had the courage, foresight and strength to initially allow yourself to tap into your emotions for each given situation, circumstance or event at that moment in time, what you would have been saving yourself from re-visiting later? Its true so much we would have saved ourselves if we had the courage to deal with it “NOW”

So today, I am feeling a little full of mixed emotions as I say goodbye to one chapter this month, then another chapter next month, when for the last 3 years I have been struggling with coming to terms and accepting a real big chapter and cycle in my life that was to be my biggest challenge emotionally yet, confronting, the face of what felt like “Death” “Loss” “Rejection” and feeling unworthy.

I have worked hard to claw my way back up from the very bottomless pit of the rabbit hole, and believe you me, there are moments when there is a trigger such as a loss, or a transition, that sets me back briefly, just momentarily to remembering where I have come from and where I have been.

Today, has felt a deeply moving day emotionally, the past 4 years have been hard as I have been working on my business this business and in the moments of healing, working with depression, counselling, past life regression to look at patterns that I may have been repeating, and allowing myself to be defined by how others have chosen to treat me, and what I have allowed in that process, has been deep.  So now couple with the wisdom of a mother who has raised 3 children to adulthood, who has experienced, many deaths, many failures, many rejections, many challenges, I can honestly say that as I sit back I can actually say, Susan, you really ought to be proud of yourself.

You see the greatest Teacher that we have is not Education, is not text book theories, no ideologies, not philosophies, but simply “Life experiences” and the pain associated with such.  Along with life experiences, pain is our greatest Teacher, for in this we are confronted with our weaknesses, confronted with our strengths, with our boundaries, with what we will accept and what we won’t and we are too faced with our vulnerabilities, we are stripped away of all ego facets of our soul and character and then once the unveiling takes place, we are confronted with a fresh new childlike new beginning on which to transmute all of the learning that has been gleaned from the whole journey;

I am proud to say that I am now much more accepting, comfortable with loss and transformation than I have ever been, even allowing myself to visit the emotions associated with the changes that take place.  Today I was given some feedback on my Group that I run on Facebook, and to me it was one of my most powerful messages that I have received, for believe me in the moments that I have doubted myself, in that journey of allowing myself to be defined by what I felt was a rejection of me, and a rejection of me not being good enough, I received affirmation and confirmation that the whole ethos of my Group Spiritual Reflections & Thoughts.  The Journey that it is successful and it does make a difference, and believe you me in the moments when I doubted myself, my souls call and who I was, who I am, I nearly called the whole lot in.  I tried a few times, but was told by Facebook that the page was of value to its followers and they would not let me close it, this coupled with today’s message has indicated to me that I am a powerful, strong woman who has been to hell and back and has risen.  As in the voice of Maya Angelou, I share a symbolism of who I can identify with,

Still I Rise

Maya Angelou1928 – 2014

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

From And Still I Rise by Maya Angelou. Copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou. Reprinted by permission of Random House, Inc.

My spirit got broken, but not my essence, that can never be taken away for it sits in the well of my soul and comes to my aid in real times of need.

 

“And Still I Rise” and in doing so I have learnt so much about me, and what I am capable of.  Thank you for the lessons, that have enable to me to view them in the mirror of

reflection. photo-1438762398043-ac196c2fa1e7

 

Susan Lawrence

Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching.

The energy of the day 25/06/18

Feeling in a quiet introspective space today, usually do a video, so because of this need for quiet reflection today I decided on a plan B, on the quiet reflective times I shall tap into writing a blog.

The energy of the day has been a number vibration “6”  this means that the timing of the 6 is a slow and deliberate pace, slow and steady wins the race.

If you have a life path number of a 6, or you have a 6 in your calculation of your birth date then you will be responsible, and comforting as an individual.   The 6 is a natural counsellor, it relates to the Astrological sign of Cancer, relates to the Lovers Card in the Tarot which often means a choice, it can also denote a choice between 2 lovers, or a new love interest and balance in relationships.

The letters associated are F, O, X, the polarity is Yin (feminine) the colours are Royal Blue, Indigo.

The 6 also relates to family and ensuring that you nurture your family through duty and balance.  It may also associate with humanitarian activities today.

I hope that you have a great 6 day, and that all is as it ought to be, in accordance with the energy and the vibration of your soul.

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With love & light, Susan xxx

 

 

The Circle Of Life!

Today I had a moment to reflect and feel amazed at having 3 Adult children, I feel amazed at how quickly time flies, how it goes and the memories all role into a ball ready for moments to be recalled.

I remember each of their Births like yesterday, the feelings, the joy, the sad reflective moments, the pure joy at holding my little bundle in my arms, and how proud I feel as I stand back and think, I am so very proud of you all.

The circle of life is always present and evident in every day life, in the Seasons, the Weather, things are born and things die, life can be like this with cycles and seasons too, so too can our own journey, in the cycles and situations that we experience, and it is okay, because what I have learnt over the years is this, nothing stays the same forever, everything is temporary for the period of time it needs to be that way, until the change and evolution of growth through a situation, event or circumstance.  Sometimes we place pressure on ourselves, with that inner dialogue that takes place, I should be this, I should be that by now, but everything has its time, everything has its place, and everything has its season.

For the real tragedy of life is not death, but what we allow to die inside of us while we live.

The true testimony is Rising from life’s tragedies and still standing when you feel like you have nothing left, when you are going through it, it doesn’t feel like you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, but later on, upon reflection you can feel immensely proud of yourself for discovering you had so much inner strength to get through.

Find the joy in between life’s challenges to find a balance and you can’t go wrong.

With love & light, Susan xxx

Sometimes a sabbatical, time out is a good thing, regeneration of the soul.

I haven’t posted for a while, I took some time out to process some thoughts, feelings, emotions regarding my current journey.  Naturally, I tend to do this anyway, reflection is so powerful for the soul, I often find that after such a period of time, I am able to come back with a fresh eye, renewed sense of awareness and a different level of energy.

We had a Full Moon in Scorpio yesterday, full moon’s as you are probably aware are filled with powerful potential of renewal and releasing of the old.

It is not unknown around a Full Moon period to allow your soul the gift of releasing what may have been wearing you down, weighing heavily on your soul, or just simply put it no longer feels right, you can sense within the very essence of you that something has changed, there may be a sense of resistance as you grapple with the familiar, grapple with keeping things they way your are used to, comfortable with, but in that complacency there isn’t the capacity to grow, if you do allow yourself to stay the same, so in the journey of reflection, you can get to a stage where after the processing internally has taken place, you can feel a sense of “one day my soul just opened up” embrace it, flow with it, enjoy it, and allow yourself to be in the moment.  I will be back with more postings shortly.

Don’t forget to set your new intent after releasing the old and outworn, ready for a brand new chapter as you walk towards the next new moon which is indicative of renewal, rebirth and newness.

 

In love & Light, Susan xxxx

Moon went into Aries at 03.25 today – what it means

03.25 am the Moon entered Aries, boy am I feeling it in my spirit today, no punches, no frills, to self or other.
The Moon in Aries speeds up instinctual reactions, and might put us in an edgy, punchy mood.

This is definitely my energy today 💥💥🔥🔥

I decided to do a video on my Facebook Business Page, check it out, the next 2 days could leave you with a feeling of intensity, competitive energy, find out why

https://www.facebook.com/susanlawrencesoulcoaching/

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Photo credit Rohan Makhecha20180414_084757.png

In Love & Light Susan xxx

Have an awesome sun filled Saturday xx

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message – 12/04/2018

Good Morning, Good Morning, Good Morning,

Happy Thursday in its unfolding, today’s message relates to getting closer to consciousness, what is consciousness you may ask? consciousness is this, (source Wikipedia) Consciousness is the state or quality of awareness, or, of being aware of an external object or something within oneself.[1][2] It has been defined variously in terms of sentience, awareness, qualia, subjectivity, the ability to experience or to feel, wakefulness, having a sense of selfhood or soul, the fact that there is something “that it is like” to “have” or “be” it, and the executive control system of the mind.[3] In contemporary philosophy its definition is often hinted at via the logical possibility of its absence, the philosophical zombie, which is defined as a being whose behaviour and function are identical to one’s own yet there is “no-one in there” experiencing it. I felt it the best way to define it in more detail.

Today’s card relates to you doing whatever it takes to get you closer to that feeling of consciousness, some relate consciousness as getting closer to “Source” to “God” to whatever you believe in.  You see we also have our conscious thoughts and minds, and the polarity to this is our subconscious mind, sometimes there can be conflict between the two talking a different language.  To be conscious is to be “Aware” “Awake” and having a sense of mindfulness and knowing what you are doing.  Sometimes when you have an intent of doing something and the outcome is different, this may be as a result of conflict between ones conscious thoughts and ones subconscious behaviours.

Interesting eh? Oh yes, I think so too.   So today’s message is asking you to do whatever it takes to bring you closer to consciousness, only you will know how and the way in which this needs to be addressed.

Have a blessed and beautiful Thursday, in Love & Light Susan xxxx20180412_102543.jpg

Moon is in Pisces today – Your Moon Sign and the sign it is in, is your emotional self!

I do like to look at the rhythm of the Moon, in terms of it being a Full Moon, New Moon, it is possible to live flowing with the cycle of the moon and what this pertains.  Did you know that the sign that the Moon was in at the time of your birth is indicative of how you respond emotionally to life and its events?

I have Pisces as my Moon sign and it also ties in with my other Astrological placings with Cancer in Venus in my 8th House, Mars in Cancer in the 8th House, Neptune in Scorpio in my 12th House, so there is a great deal of watery emotions that go on.

In the theme as of our Sun sign there is the lower vibration and frequency that we may operate and the higher vibration frequency that we may be working towards.  In particular when operating from ones lower frequency, (not quite actualised and realised ones full spiritual potential) the Pisces Moon sign may seek approval from others, there may be an aspect of seeing the world at large with rose coloured tinted glasses and getting lost in ones own world of escapism, a healthy dose of escapism isn’t a bad thing, we all need that little place of retreat that we can go to, to feel a sense of safety and protection.

When operating from ones highest vibration, there is the capacity to take full responsibility for ones own life without a desire, or need for the approval from others and to support others through healing in supporting them on how to heal their own inner demons, and negative thought patterns.  How one does this is by the realization of other points of view and accepting these.   There is a tendency for the Pisces Moon sign to continuously seek perfection, which in actualization does not exist and is just a figment of ones illusion and perception of how things ought to be.

Past Lives 

Did you know that if you have Pisces in your makeup whether it be in your Moon sign or Sun sign there has been an element of having a previous incarnation in the priesthood, monastery or convent and your natural default mechanism is to shut yourself off when things feel far to overwhelming or too much, too much stimulus can have your running for the hills and hiding yourself away to escape.  You see Pisces are sensitive feeling souls with exceptionally sensitive and high intuition which pick up the unspoken messages that others convey, there is a sense of knowing exactly what is being shown even if it is not verbalised and expressed vocally.  You can expect a Pisces to have a real sense of knowing what you are feeling and when you are feeling it.  There has in a previous incarnation a result of being “looked after” so that this in this lifetime you will have to work exceptionally hard and achieve results by yourself.  This will feel frustrating and hard at times, but it is as a result of being supported to a high degree so that in this lifetime it is payback, karma time for you to give back.  Nothing does come easy for you, it is very hard work, there will be times where you may feel that you are fighting a continuous battle.  If you feel super sensitive today and your intuition is heightened today, then this may help you understand why.

Trust your gut, it speaks volumes and conveys messages for you to process for a reason, and remember if in doubt, leave it out, if it feels okay then continue.

In love and lunar light Susan xxxxinstaquote-11-04-2018-04-30-45.png

 

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 09/04/2018

Good Evening,

How has your day been today, I awoke today feeling uber sensitive, perhaps it is because I am fending off a heavy cold and have been feeling a little bit out of sorts, desperately trying to continue doing what needs to be done, ever get those moments where you just feel yucky?

Sensitive, insecurities popping up to feel heard, concerns, worries, yes I have those human thoughts too.

Today’s card has me in mind of Carl Jung’s Shadow Self and his work, I do find his work interesting and quite fascinating, its depth, its terminology and its meaning, I relate the term Shadow Self here

Shadow: Hidden or unconscious aspects of oneself which the ego has either repressed or never recognized.  I do think that in order to do any type of healing work it is essential to touch base with core aspects of our shadow self, this is not always an easy thing to do, as sometimes going back to some earlier experiences can reinforce the trauma experienced, but I do believe that in order to heal one must allow oneself to feel with guidance.

Today’s card relates to two polar opposites darkness and light, it is ironic as I am so aware of these feelings within myself today and have allowed myself to feel what I am feeling with an understanding that whatever it is that my subconscious self is trying to reveal to me, it will do so in its rightful timing.

So today I ask you what are you aware of within yourself that is rippling from your subconscious?

Today’s message is this, what is it you fear? what is it that I fear? what is feared? and how can it be transmuted through the energy of love, well I did take myself out of my comfort zone today, doing so is always a positive thing as it means one is challenging oneself, so if you do identify with something that is making you feel a little bit wobbly and you identify it as “Fear” challenge it, face it and then allow it to flow and move through you.  You got this, quite often what we fear is imagined anyway and blown up in our minds and the actual thought of it is far worse.

I am not going to say stay positive, because I do feel that is a clique, you cannot tell someone to stay positive when they are having thoughts and feelings, but you can support them to identify with what they are feeling, process it, acknowledge it, validate it and then work with a choice on how to move past it, that right there is the gift.

Stay true to your feeling self, knowing that you have the power within you to make a choice whether you allow something to define you or not.

In love & Light Susan xx

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Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message – 8/04/2018

Good Afternoon,

Happy Sunday, I hope you are having a good day so far.

Ever wake up with a feeling and think to yourself, there has to be something more to life than this!   This usually happens when life seems to amalgamate and roll into each other, with a whirlwind of activity and constantly being on the go.

In the usual manner I shuffled my Universe Has Your Back Deck and out came this message, now it is important to allow yourself to feel how you feel in any given moment, not justify, analyse or try and dim down what may have surfaced, it usually does surface for a reason to alert you that something within needs to change.

It can be felt on a subconscious level and ripples through your emotions, thoughts and feelings, allow it all to reveal itself and this is okay, one of the challenges is trying to dim down what you feel and not give it space to be felt, processed, understood or validated.

So allow yourself to feel and honour exactly how you feel at any given time, after all feelings are emotions that do come and go and they do alert us to when something needs to change.

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The 8th & 12th Astrological House – Your Shadow Self, Karma, Your secret doorway to your subconscious soul.

Today my mind feels deeper than usual if that is at all possible.  For sometime, a long time now I have held a belief that the 8th and 12th Astrological House in Astrology holds a great deal of information pertaining to our subconscious soul.

These two houses are where we store a great deal of secrets, a great deal of shadow stuff that we may not always desire to confront.

The 8th House in Astrology specifically relates to the astrological sign of Scorpio which relates to the cycle of Birth and Death and Sex, you can bet that if you do have planets in your 8th House then you will have lived a life of loss in differing forms, whether this is a physical loss, spiritual loss or emotional loss, there most definitely will be a depth to you, that some may not understand.  I have this, planets in my 8th astrological house and my 12th house and it just means that I tend to be very deep and some will even say complex, that I can live with and accept.

The 8th House is where you will go through a series of new beginnings and endings, some you will welcome, some you won’t. some you will find more manageable, some will feel more poignant and some will be felt deeply.

The 12th House is the house of mysteries, the house of “Secrets”, Have you had your Astrological chart done? do you know where your placings are for the 8th and 12th house, I will give you a breakdown now of the Houses and what they mean, I do feel that there is a direct correlation and link with Astrology, Tarot and Numerology and all are interlinked in some way.

The Houses: –

1st House – “The Self” – Beginnings, related to Aries

2nd House – Material and physical environment, income, related to Taurus

3rd House – Communication, siblings, nearby travel, related to Gemini

4th House – Foundation, basic security, imagine Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need, related to Cancer, “Mother”

5th House – the house of “Self Expression”, fun, play, related to Leo

6th House – Health, service to others, related to Virgo

7th House – The house of Relationships, partnerships, marriage, related to Libra

8th House – Birth, Death, Sex, Transformation, mysteries, other people’s property, inheritance, related to Scorpio

9th House – The higher mind, Expansion, International and long distance travel, related to Sagittarius

10th House – Government, Structures, Corporations, Father, related to Capricorn.

11th House – Teams, Friendships, Groups, Society, Networking, related to Aquarius.

12th House – Endings, Afterlife, Old Age, Hospitals, related to Pisces.

So if you haven’t had your Astrological Chart done before and you feel a desire to understand yourself more to gain insight into the inner workings of you, let me know and I will be happy to help.

Have a blessed day, the way to understanding others is to understand yourself.

A reminder that your soul made a choice to incarnate with all what you have chosen as your souls pathway to learn and grow. 20180407_085001.png

In love & Light, Susan xx