Another cycle ends – transformation and connecting with my feelings associated.

#It’s an inside journey#

It seems lately there is less time to write as much as I used to be able too.  I find myself feeling emotional today, as I am coming to an end of another cycle, what is it about endings that evoke so much emotion, even knowing that every ending is going to open a new doorway.  An example I can think of, is this, ending a relationship that is negative, dysfunctional and has evoked negative emotions associated, one would imagine that one would feel “Happy” and yet the feelings that arise, are feelings of loss, and then there is the cycle of emotions that give rise to grieving.  This is an example to understand.

I say goodbye this week to a role that has come to completion for 2 years, it has been an experience of both positive and negative, positive because of the connections made, the laughter, the giggles, connecting with new people, being able to be a listening ear to those that have needed it, even being a listening ear to those who have projected their anger, because of the space that they were in at the time.  The negative the demands on the physical and emotional body.  I feel it is now time to close that door and say “Goodbye and “Thank you” for the journey, the experience, the highs and the lows.  But isn’t it amazing how closing doors, brings you closer to your emotions of loss, from previous doors that you have closed, or in some cases, closed because you had no choice, because closure may not have been completely possible.

I have just finished today, my 2nd job for the week, this will end next month, it is time for a new chapter, new beginnings, and even knowing that this will usher in new growth, I cannot help but feel a tinge of emotions, like awww, it feels a little sad, it has reminded me of other losses.  You see my viewpoint is this, that in this life, this fast paced western world we are so very busy pressing on, not giving ourselves time to process our emotions, our feelings associated with whatever we may be experiencing that we can if not careful walk around like we are “dead” emotionless, unfeeling, detached from our inner core emotions, and that in my mind is not good for the Mind, Body nor the Spirit.

I understand for many a feeling person who is in touch with their emotions, can feel too intense for many who choose to lock their emotions away, detach from them, store them in a box, never to open Pandora’s box until “Spirit” or the “Universe” decide to give you a situation or scenario, whereby you have to revisit, can you imagine for a moment that had you have had the courage, foresight and strength to initially allow yourself to tap into your emotions for each given situation, circumstance or event at that moment in time, what you would have been saving yourself from re-visiting later? Its true so much we would have saved ourselves if we had the courage to deal with it “NOW”

So today, I am feeling a little full of mixed emotions as I say goodbye to one chapter this month, then another chapter next month, when for the last 3 years I have been struggling with coming to terms and accepting a real big chapter and cycle in my life that was to be my biggest challenge emotionally yet, confronting, the face of what felt like “Death” “Loss” “Rejection” and feeling unworthy.

I have worked hard to claw my way back up from the very bottomless pit of the rabbit hole, and believe you me, there are moments when there is a trigger such as a loss, or a transition, that sets me back briefly, just momentarily to remembering where I have come from and where I have been.

Today, has felt a deeply moving day emotionally, the past 4 years have been hard as I have been working on my business this business and in the moments of healing, working with depression, counselling, past life regression to look at patterns that I may have been repeating, and allowing myself to be defined by how others have chosen to treat me, and what I have allowed in that process, has been deep.  So now couple with the wisdom of a mother who has raised 3 children to adulthood, who has experienced, many deaths, many failures, many rejections, many challenges, I can honestly say that as I sit back I can actually say, Susan, you really ought to be proud of yourself.

You see the greatest Teacher that we have is not Education, is not text book theories, no ideologies, not philosophies, but simply “Life experiences” and the pain associated with such.  Along with life experiences, pain is our greatest Teacher, for in this we are confronted with our weaknesses, confronted with our strengths, with our boundaries, with what we will accept and what we won’t and we are too faced with our vulnerabilities, we are stripped away of all ego facets of our soul and character and then once the unveiling takes place, we are confronted with a fresh new childlike new beginning on which to transmute all of the learning that has been gleaned from the whole journey;

I am proud to say that I am now much more accepting, comfortable with loss and transformation than I have ever been, even allowing myself to visit the emotions associated with the changes that take place.  Today I was given some feedback on my Group that I run on Facebook, and to me it was one of my most powerful messages that I have received, for believe me in the moments that I have doubted myself, in that journey of allowing myself to be defined by what I felt was a rejection of me, and a rejection of me not being good enough, I received affirmation and confirmation that the whole ethos of my Group Spiritual Reflections & Thoughts.  The Journey that it is successful and it does make a difference, and believe you me in the moments when I doubted myself, my souls call and who I was, who I am, I nearly called the whole lot in.  I tried a few times, but was told by Facebook that the page was of value to its followers and they would not let me close it, this coupled with today’s message has indicated to me that I am a powerful, strong woman who has been to hell and back and has risen.  As in the voice of Maya Angelou, I share a symbolism of who I can identify with,

Still I Rise

Maya Angelou1928 – 2014

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

From And Still I Rise by Maya Angelou. Copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou. Reprinted by permission of Random House, Inc.

My spirit got broken, but not my essence, that can never be taken away for it sits in the well of my soul and comes to my aid in real times of need.

 

“And Still I Rise” and in doing so I have learnt so much about me, and what I am capable of.  Thank you for the lessons, that have enable to me to view them in the mirror of

reflection. photo-1438762398043-ac196c2fa1e7

 

Susan Lawrence

Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching.

The energy of the day 25/06/18

Feeling in a quiet introspective space today, usually do a video, so because of this need for quiet reflection today I decided on a plan B, on the quiet reflective times I shall tap into writing a blog.

The energy of the day has been a number vibration “6”  this means that the timing of the 6 is a slow and deliberate pace, slow and steady wins the race.

If you have a life path number of a 6, or you have a 6 in your calculation of your birth date then you will be responsible, and comforting as an individual.   The 6 is a natural counsellor, it relates to the Astrological sign of Cancer, relates to the Lovers Card in the Tarot which often means a choice, it can also denote a choice between 2 lovers, or a new love interest and balance in relationships.

The letters associated are F, O, X, the polarity is Yin (feminine) the colours are Royal Blue, Indigo.

The 6 also relates to family and ensuring that you nurture your family through duty and balance.  It may also associate with humanitarian activities today.

I hope that you have a great 6 day, and that all is as it ought to be, in accordance with the energy and the vibration of your soul.

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With love & light, Susan xxx

 

 

Being disconnected!

Happy Saturday,

I have my quiet thinking reflective head on today, and have been thinking about the subject of loneliness, and isolation.  Facebook helps many feel connected virtually, yet we appear to be living in a world where a vast amount of people feel a sense of loneliness at the very core.

The virtual world, of Texting, Whats app, Messenger, Hangouts, Email, Snap chat and many others, do people actually talk to each other anymore?

Connections being made by text, conversations by text alone, appears to have produced a laziness to connect in a very real way.  And yet there are many that feel a sense of real loneliness!  I created a meme today and the caption said,

“Perhaps you feel empty? perhaps you feel that something is missing? Perhaps it is you that is missing? and you are the one you have been searching for!”

Interdependence is what we have been created for, I still believe this in many ways, yet there is a real disconnection with this happening, so many people searching for gratification outside of themselves, so many seeking for the void that they feel within themselves, to be filled through another.  When in essence to put your happiness at the hands of another is an expectation that may create a sense of dissatisfaction, because in essence another may not be able to meet that expectation.

How many times do you allow yourself to sit and be present with yourself? and to real feel a sense of connection with YOU!, There is so much that you can do when you are present with “Self”, there are things that you can do to fill your time, there are things that you can engage in to make yourself feel whole.

We live in a society that fosters being with another, and yes I do believe whether we like to admit it or not, we all do need someone, but I have come to learn that the time that we can truly be happy, is when we have allowed ourselves the journey of being happy and present with “self”.  That place when you feel a sense of peace and acceptance and being at one with YOU.  It is then that I believe that we can truly connect with another, essentially because the pressure and need, the expectation for another to fill the void that you may be feeling becomes less.  I love nothing that spending time quietly with myself, being in silence at times, listening to music sometimes, dancing, reading, researching, writing, doing things that need to be done, watching some TV, going out in nature and capturing beauty on my camera or on my phone, sometimes jumping on a bus and going to the beach.  There is no expectation from me for another to fill my silence, I can do that.

It is when you finally get to a place of acceptance, and being at one with yourself, that you will find another.  Ironically the very world that has now been created with social media, is connected yet disconnected, does that make sense to you! It has also fostered lazy behaviour where people feel that they no longer have to put the effort in, this goes to both males and females, it is all to easy to drop a message than actually pick up the phone, or pick up the phone and arrange a face to face meeting to really connect.  Like everything connection has even come at a price of disposal, almost like online shopping, pick what you like and then clicking.

Its sad really, a World that is connected, yet so disconnected.

I know that I would prefer to smell a persons presence, to feel their presence, to be able to hear the tone of their voice, their facial expressions, the tone of their vocabulary, how they express themselves, and yet no longer do I desire to just “Settle”, for I have learnt it is healthier to be alone, than with a connection that doesn’t feel real.

“Connect with what’s real, so you can feel!!

In love & light, Susan xxx

copyright! Susan Lawrence Soul Coachingmeditation_by_psychedelicstuff-d55hywb

 

The energy of the “2”

Good Morning, Happy Summer Solstice,

The sun is shining, beaming and I feel that for many of us, its presence will lift up our energy.  The elements can do that can’t they!

Well today’s energy in terms of the date is a fabulous “2” in its duality, it denotes a sense of togetherness, working together, feminine in its principled energy, the letters B.K.T mean something, in its element its Yin.  The colours associated which are good for today are Orange, Salmon, Peach, Gold.

The stone associated is Moonstone.  The Tarot Card related is the High Priestess, oh my your intuition is going to feel high, high today, trust it, it has something to tell you.

I share with you today’s live video relating which has been shared on my facebook business page, Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching

https://www.facebook.com/susanlawrencesoulcoaching/ join me.

 

Have a blessed and beautiful start of the Summer Solstice.

In love & Light Susan xxinstaquote-21-06-2018-10-25-55 (1)photo-1495653797063-114787b77b23

Time is a Healer! The Gift of Time

Every day is unique in its unfolding.
They say that time is a healer, you cannot place time on any healing that needs to take place, for it is like layers of an onion, each layer that sheds gives rise to an emergence of another layer to be healed.
The severity of the trauma or the experience will always be a unique one to each individual, I do admire those that appear to have the ability to dust themselves off, like flour on their clothes, dust, dust, then its gone, but is it really though? hmmmm I do wonder, for humans have the capacity to compartmentalize their stored experiences of hurt and pain in a tight lidded box, to be open again at ones choosing and peril, or when they are triggered and they have no choice but to look the hurt in the eye and say yes, I am ready now to deal with it. aaron-burden-622662-unsplash.jpg
In this though this only prolongs the healing that needs to take place, compounds it, one thing that we can do in this beautiful unfolding of “Life” is enjoy each day, live it, experience it, whilst we still give ourselves permission to be in this timeframe of NOW!!
Time is a healer, it isn’t finite, we cannot say I will feel better today, tomorrow, next week, next month or next year, it truly is a unique thing, the capacity to be able to still function though whilst one gives themselves time to heal what their soul as asking to be healed is the capacity to enjoy each day in its unfolding, to find the joy in each day.
I know from experience that behind every smile there are an ocean of tears, indeed though, this does not mean for one moment that there isn’t the capacity to laugh, giggle even though somehow, somewhere you may be hurting inside, for the gift of time, wisdom and experience is the blessings of being able to function and still get on and move away for just a moment from the pain.
Not forgetting though for those that struggle, sometimes the struggle is just too real, sometimes the transformation from pain to joy seems just a little to long a way for them, never judge, for how can we, when we are not walking a mile in their shoes, we may be able to understand the pain, but everyone will have their own unique strategies, coping mechanisms and ways of dealing with it, there is no right or wrong.
Remembering that as John Holt says, Time Is The Master!!
Remembering that Tears are the Liquid Emotions That The Heart Cannot Express!!
No judgement please for Time is a healer in all things.
With Light and Love, Susan xxxxx

The Circle Of Life!

Today I had a moment to reflect and feel amazed at having 3 Adult children, I feel amazed at how quickly time flies, how it goes and the memories all role into a ball ready for moments to be recalled.

I remember each of their Births like yesterday, the feelings, the joy, the sad reflective moments, the pure joy at holding my little bundle in my arms, and how proud I feel as I stand back and think, I am so very proud of you all.

The circle of life is always present and evident in every day life, in the Seasons, the Weather, things are born and things die, life can be like this with cycles and seasons too, so too can our own journey, in the cycles and situations that we experience, and it is okay, because what I have learnt over the years is this, nothing stays the same forever, everything is temporary for the period of time it needs to be that way, until the change and evolution of growth through a situation, event or circumstance.  Sometimes we place pressure on ourselves, with that inner dialogue that takes place, I should be this, I should be that by now, but everything has its time, everything has its place, and everything has its season.

For the real tragedy of life is not death, but what we allow to die inside of us while we live.

The true testimony is Rising from life’s tragedies and still standing when you feel like you have nothing left, when you are going through it, it doesn’t feel like you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, but later on, upon reflection you can feel immensely proud of yourself for discovering you had so much inner strength to get through.

Find the joy in between life’s challenges to find a balance and you can’t go wrong.

With love & light, Susan xxx

Sometimes a sabbatical, time out is a good thing, regeneration of the soul.

I haven’t posted for a while, I took some time out to process some thoughts, feelings, emotions regarding my current journey.  Naturally, I tend to do this anyway, reflection is so powerful for the soul, I often find that after such a period of time, I am able to come back with a fresh eye, renewed sense of awareness and a different level of energy.

We had a Full Moon in Scorpio yesterday, full moon’s as you are probably aware are filled with powerful potential of renewal and releasing of the old.

It is not unknown around a Full Moon period to allow your soul the gift of releasing what may have been wearing you down, weighing heavily on your soul, or just simply put it no longer feels right, you can sense within the very essence of you that something has changed, there may be a sense of resistance as you grapple with the familiar, grapple with keeping things they way your are used to, comfortable with, but in that complacency there isn’t the capacity to grow, if you do allow yourself to stay the same, so in the journey of reflection, you can get to a stage where after the processing internally has taken place, you can feel a sense of “one day my soul just opened up” embrace it, flow with it, enjoy it, and allow yourself to be in the moment.  I will be back with more postings shortly.

Don’t forget to set your new intent after releasing the old and outworn, ready for a brand new chapter as you walk towards the next new moon which is indicative of renewal, rebirth and newness.

 

In love & Light, Susan xxxx

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 18/04/2018

Good evening,

extremely late today, its been a beautiful eventful day, one which I feel grateful and blessed for, the weather picked up and the elements were smiling, that is always a good thing.  I hope that your day has been enjoyable and productive and a happy one too.

Today’s message speaks of our outer experiences being a reflection of our internal condition, interesting. things are very busy but calm at present and that feels a good place to be, how about you? how are things with you?

We do have to be mindful of what we allow to influence us from an external point of view, certainly there are some things I deliberately do not engage in as a result of desiring to keep my inner world still to a degree, that is something that we can control in any instance.

So if things are challenging, dramatic from an external factor then this is a direct reflection of what is going on inside.   We attract what we are to some degree, sometimes this is difficult to see and to figure out, but there is truth in this.

So today’s message is simply to alert you to think and look at this in a different perspective, if your world is fraught with worry and lots of drama it is because somewhere you may be creating it from an inside place.

You have the choice whether to give something time or not, if it isn’t for your highest vibration then let it go.

Try and keep a positive mindset, with love & light, Susan xxx20180326_202951.jpg

 

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 17/04/2018

Good evening, good evening,

I hope you have had a great Tuesday and it has left you feeling that you have accomplished something, made a difference in some way, or simply enjoyed just being in the 20180417_175314.jpgmoment.

Today for me has felt productive and blessed in its unfolding, I am grateful for that.

Today’s message is quite sweet actually and funny, it talks of authenticity and being authentic in your truth is one of the most purest, honest acts of love there is, why because when you allow yourself to be and feel authentic you actually others to be and feel the same, plus it comes from a place of truth and that is a pure and honest place of the heart.

So today’s message is simply about being in your authentic truth and owning it, accepting it and allowing it.

Being vulnerable is not a weakness but a strength.

We are sometimes conditioned not to show too much because we may appear weak, but when you allow yourself to be who you are in any given moment, you are actually honouring your soul and that is a beautiful thing.

Confidence is sexy, being authentic is sexy and being honest is sexy, go on allow your sexy self to SHINE.

In love & Light, Susan xxx

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 16/04/2018

Good evening,

late today with my posting its been a full on day!

How has your day been?

Anyway Happy Monday, many blessings and I do hope that it has been productive, enjoyable and you feel that you have achieved something today.

Today’s message is about accepting “Love” from the Universe as your primary teacher.

You see when we allow ourselves to trust the Universe and its guidance and there being a sense of what you need to go through is for your greatest and highest vibration of soul growth, this is accepted then along comes the feeling of being at peace and not fighting the natural flow of life that we have to experience in order for us to be moved to the next level of soul growth.

Anxiety, depression, fear, worry are all factors that will make this process harder to be able to cope with, and a need to know, a need to be in control, but there are times in our lives that we simply cannot be in control all of the time, that I feel is a good thing, to be in control all of the time is a heavy cross to bear with pressure to conform to juggling many thoughts, emotions, feelings that arise as a result of trying to keep it together, you can lessen your stress, anxiety and low mood by learning to trust that what is meant will certainly reveal itself, and what isn’t will not manifest, there won’t be any loss, you may feel a sense of loss as a result of an expectation of an outcome, this usually perpetuates anxiety, fear and all of the feelings, emotions associated.  Whereas if you allow yourself to just first of trust yourself, then secondly trust that the Universe or whatever you aspire too, God, Buddha, Angels, Spirit, Ancestors, those that have passed, really do have a say in what is going on around you, more than you realise, there is guidance to be found even when we do not think so.  So allow yourself to TRUST.

So today’s message is beautiful in its unfolding, in its truth and it is right for you, as it has come up for a reason.

Have a blessed night, I hope that you feel rejuvenated tomorrow and focus on all the positives, stay awesome, stay you, and trust.

In love & Light, Susan xx20180416_200213.jpg