An Interdependent Relationship is the healthiest way v co-dependency, learning the art of detachment in relationships.

Relationships, the most sought after thing, yet for many, including myself can feel illusive, why is that, well here is my learning, until we get healthy with ourselves and weed out negative behaviour patterns and negative conditioning, we simply cannot be healthy with another, this is not to say for one moment, that one ought to take full responsibility for the demise of a relationship in its totality, but an understanding of how you played a part in that demise and what part you played.

You simply cannot expect to make another accountable if they choose not to be aware, or simply acknowledge in communication with you, their part, or even validate any hurt their actions may have fostered.

You see pain, in particular in relationships, I believe are one of our greatest Teachers, and greatest assets to be able to force us to grow and come out of our conditioned comfort zone.

Many will say how the hell can you give advice on relationships when you are not in one? well here is the thing, if you are a person who does reflect and does look in the mirror you can glean a lot from what hasn’t worked, what things you have done, what things you haven’t done and you can take this lessons forward, there is no greater lesson than that what is deemed as failure both from your own inner critic and from an observational view of the lens.

I have come to learn that the reason why the very thing that you may truly desire from your soul and heart eludes you, is because perhaps you have been eluding yourself? quite often the focus on “other” is a mechanism to deflect you from looking at yourself, it is easy to get into a situation whereby it’s always the other persons fault, but that is just proportioning blame, which serves no purpose, that is just a justification to take no responsibility for being part of that journey.

You see my learning is that when you love deeply there can be acts of imbalance in that you give all of yourself, sometimes at times at the expense of “other” when in actual fact, the gift is to learn interdependence, keep a level of individuality and a level of interdependence in equal measure.  Having been part of unhealthy relationships, I now get to witness so much earlier on, the red flags of where a situation could become co-dependent, that is not love, that is enabling, that is control, and love is not about control.

Love needs to be given a space to be free, to flourish, to grow, to emerge in its floral design, so that both emerge and grow to their highest and greatest potential.  One of the healthiest relationships is where honest, truthful and connected, present communication exists, where there is absolutely no fear or judgement in being able to express your true, honest and authentic self.

The gift of loving unconditionally without expectation is the gift of detachment, for when you get to a place where there is no expectation of an outcome, there is no need, nor desire to “fix” other, but to focus on fixing, YOU, that is the gift of a healthy relationship.

In today’s society there are a great deal of unhealthy relationships, I know this from a wisdom perspective, and knowledge as being part of a group, observation and reading.

Unhealthy relationship patterns can be learnt from an early age, even from the perspective of what appears on the outside, a very healthy relationship to co-dependency and enabling patterns that take place in the home.

When you can get to a place where you can safely allow your souls true authentic self to shine, express itself without fear or judgement, and the same for other, then that right there is a healthy balance.

Love is not control, loves needs space to be able to express its truth, not all flowers and rose tinted glasses all of the time, but the moments of emotions that may not feel very comfortable, when you get to a place where you can connect with someone and you show all facets of your character and personality and there is nothing hidden, and both of you are able to hold each other in those moments by being emotionally present and available, that is a healthy relationship.

If you feel the need to “fix” make excuses, dum down who you are, or suppress your emotions or who you are that is control, that isn’t healthy.  The importance of honest communication is also about allowing yourself to vocalise your feelings without fear this helps the relationship grow because you are showing your vulnerability, and it is only when we truly drop our guard, show our vulnerability that we can truly have an honest loving relationship and remember, just because you behave in a particular way, it does not mean expecting other to be the same, because that right there is one of the situations that will set you up for a fall.  Most of us do have an expectation of how we perceive things should be, but in the love stakes, usually it turns out to be completely different, that is because we had an expectation.

Love is a gift when it is allowed to grow and flow.

In love & light, Susan. xxx

(c) Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching.PortraitSoulPic

 

The energy of the day 25/06/18

Feeling in a quiet introspective space today, usually do a video, so because of this need for quiet reflection today I decided on a plan B, on the quiet reflective times I shall tap into writing a blog.

The energy of the day has been a number vibration “6”  this means that the timing of the 6 is a slow and deliberate pace, slow and steady wins the race.

If you have a life path number of a 6, or you have a 6 in your calculation of your birth date then you will be responsible, and comforting as an individual.   The 6 is a natural counsellor, it relates to the Astrological sign of Cancer, relates to the Lovers Card in the Tarot which often means a choice, it can also denote a choice between 2 lovers, or a new love interest and balance in relationships.

The letters associated are F, O, X, the polarity is Yin (feminine) the colours are Royal Blue, Indigo.

The 6 also relates to family and ensuring that you nurture your family through duty and balance.  It may also associate with humanitarian activities today.

I hope that you have a great 6 day, and that all is as it ought to be, in accordance with the energy and the vibration of your soul.

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With love & light, Susan xxx

 

 

The energy of the “2”

Good Morning, Happy Summer Solstice,

The sun is shining, beaming and I feel that for many of us, its presence will lift up our energy.  The elements can do that can’t they!

Well today’s energy in terms of the date is a fabulous “2” in its duality, it denotes a sense of togetherness, working together, feminine in its principled energy, the letters B.K.T mean something, in its element its Yin.  The colours associated which are good for today are Orange, Salmon, Peach, Gold.

The stone associated is Moonstone.  The Tarot Card related is the High Priestess, oh my your intuition is going to feel high, high today, trust it, it has something to tell you.

I share with you today’s live video relating which has been shared on my facebook business page, Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching

https://www.facebook.com/susanlawrencesoulcoaching/ join me.

 

Have a blessed and beautiful start of the Summer Solstice.

In love & Light Susan xxinstaquote-21-06-2018-10-25-55 (1)photo-1495653797063-114787b77b23

Allow your soul to go where it feels celebrated!

Happy Sunday lunar time,

I have not long returned home from a jaunt in Manchester.  What has really struck a chord with me is how beautiful it can be to get away and have a change of scenery.  I have been feeling of late it is all work, work, work and very little change, so I set about creating the change I desired and went away for the weekend to a music event where I could set my soul free through dance and music, so freeing, so liberating and so regenerative.

You see when you become mindful of your life its content, its workings both from an inner and outer perspective you do recognize what needs to be shifted, I did.  Right now as I write I am listening to 432 Hz Binaural Beats music and it is really doing wonders for my soul.

You see you can too be the change you desire, where do you see an imbalance in your life? what do you feel isn’t quite working? feeling quite right? sitting quite right? what do you feel you can do to change that?

Reflect!!

It struck a chord with me that we can go anywhere where our soul feels celebrated, you see our soul family come in many shapes and forms, earth angels, spiritual angels, spirit guides, ancestors, work colleague, intimate relationships, siblings, children, friends, it is important to allow your soul to direct you to where you feel most celebrated, there is nothing more powerful than feeling a sense of oneness with another, despite the resistance, we all do crave this, its human, it a necessary component of feeling a sense of belonging.  Whilst at the same time, if you have gotten to a stage of feeling comfortable with your aloneness, this sets you in a good place.  A healthy place, a place where that interdependence is not born out of need but a simple desire, the two are intrinsically different.

Be thankful the moments where you feel at one with another, or others for that too is a gift, when you feel a sense of acceptance, when you feel a sense of joy, a sense of love, and a sense of just being able to be you, how beautifully soul powerful is that.

So please do become aware of where your soul feels celebrated, it saves you wasting precious energy on connections that are not good for your soul and vice versa.

Go where you feel celebrated, for this too is a gift.

In love & light, Susan xxxx

(photo credit Le-Kiet) le-kiet-384971-unsplash.jpg

Time is a Healer! The Gift of Time

Every day is unique in its unfolding.
They say that time is a healer, you cannot place time on any healing that needs to take place, for it is like layers of an onion, each layer that sheds gives rise to an emergence of another layer to be healed.
The severity of the trauma or the experience will always be a unique one to each individual, I do admire those that appear to have the ability to dust themselves off, like flour on their clothes, dust, dust, then its gone, but is it really though? hmmmm I do wonder, for humans have the capacity to compartmentalize their stored experiences of hurt and pain in a tight lidded box, to be open again at ones choosing and peril, or when they are triggered and they have no choice but to look the hurt in the eye and say yes, I am ready now to deal with it. aaron-burden-622662-unsplash.jpg
In this though this only prolongs the healing that needs to take place, compounds it, one thing that we can do in this beautiful unfolding of “Life” is enjoy each day, live it, experience it, whilst we still give ourselves permission to be in this timeframe of NOW!!
Time is a healer, it isn’t finite, we cannot say I will feel better today, tomorrow, next week, next month or next year, it truly is a unique thing, the capacity to be able to still function though whilst one gives themselves time to heal what their soul as asking to be healed is the capacity to enjoy each day in its unfolding, to find the joy in each day.
I know from experience that behind every smile there are an ocean of tears, indeed though, this does not mean for one moment that there isn’t the capacity to laugh, giggle even though somehow, somewhere you may be hurting inside, for the gift of time, wisdom and experience is the blessings of being able to function and still get on and move away for just a moment from the pain.
Not forgetting though for those that struggle, sometimes the struggle is just too real, sometimes the transformation from pain to joy seems just a little to long a way for them, never judge, for how can we, when we are not walking a mile in their shoes, we may be able to understand the pain, but everyone will have their own unique strategies, coping mechanisms and ways of dealing with it, there is no right or wrong.
Remembering that as John Holt says, Time Is The Master!!
Remembering that Tears are the Liquid Emotions That The Heart Cannot Express!!
No judgement please for Time is a healer in all things.
With Light and Love, Susan xxxxx

The Circle Of Life!

Today I had a moment to reflect and feel amazed at having 3 Adult children, I feel amazed at how quickly time flies, how it goes and the memories all role into a ball ready for moments to be recalled.

I remember each of their Births like yesterday, the feelings, the joy, the sad reflective moments, the pure joy at holding my little bundle in my arms, and how proud I feel as I stand back and think, I am so very proud of you all.

The circle of life is always present and evident in every day life, in the Seasons, the Weather, things are born and things die, life can be like this with cycles and seasons too, so too can our own journey, in the cycles and situations that we experience, and it is okay, because what I have learnt over the years is this, nothing stays the same forever, everything is temporary for the period of time it needs to be that way, until the change and evolution of growth through a situation, event or circumstance.  Sometimes we place pressure on ourselves, with that inner dialogue that takes place, I should be this, I should be that by now, but everything has its time, everything has its place, and everything has its season.

For the real tragedy of life is not death, but what we allow to die inside of us while we live.

The true testimony is Rising from life’s tragedies and still standing when you feel like you have nothing left, when you are going through it, it doesn’t feel like you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, but later on, upon reflection you can feel immensely proud of yourself for discovering you had so much inner strength to get through.

Find the joy in between life’s challenges to find a balance and you can’t go wrong.

With love & light, Susan xxx

Sometimes a sabbatical, time out is a good thing, regeneration of the soul.

I haven’t posted for a while, I took some time out to process some thoughts, feelings, emotions regarding my current journey.  Naturally, I tend to do this anyway, reflection is so powerful for the soul, I often find that after such a period of time, I am able to come back with a fresh eye, renewed sense of awareness and a different level of energy.

We had a Full Moon in Scorpio yesterday, full moon’s as you are probably aware are filled with powerful potential of renewal and releasing of the old.

It is not unknown around a Full Moon period to allow your soul the gift of releasing what may have been wearing you down, weighing heavily on your soul, or just simply put it no longer feels right, you can sense within the very essence of you that something has changed, there may be a sense of resistance as you grapple with the familiar, grapple with keeping things they way your are used to, comfortable with, but in that complacency there isn’t the capacity to grow, if you do allow yourself to stay the same, so in the journey of reflection, you can get to a stage where after the processing internally has taken place, you can feel a sense of “one day my soul just opened up” embrace it, flow with it, enjoy it, and allow yourself to be in the moment.  I will be back with more postings shortly.

Don’t forget to set your new intent after releasing the old and outworn, ready for a brand new chapter as you walk towards the next new moon which is indicative of renewal, rebirth and newness.

 

In love & Light, Susan xxxx

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 18/04/2018

Good evening,

extremely late today, its been a beautiful eventful day, one which I feel grateful and blessed for, the weather picked up and the elements were smiling, that is always a good thing.  I hope that your day has been enjoyable and productive and a happy one too.

Today’s message speaks of our outer experiences being a reflection of our internal condition, interesting. things are very busy but calm at present and that feels a good place to be, how about you? how are things with you?

We do have to be mindful of what we allow to influence us from an external point of view, certainly there are some things I deliberately do not engage in as a result of desiring to keep my inner world still to a degree, that is something that we can control in any instance.

So if things are challenging, dramatic from an external factor then this is a direct reflection of what is going on inside.   We attract what we are to some degree, sometimes this is difficult to see and to figure out, but there is truth in this.

So today’s message is simply to alert you to think and look at this in a different perspective, if your world is fraught with worry and lots of drama it is because somewhere you may be creating it from an inside place.

You have the choice whether to give something time or not, if it isn’t for your highest vibration then let it go.

Try and keep a positive mindset, with love & light, Susan xxx20180326_202951.jpg

 

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 17/04/2018

Good evening, good evening,

I hope you have had a great Tuesday and it has left you feeling that you have accomplished something, made a difference in some way, or simply enjoyed just being in the 20180417_175314.jpgmoment.

Today for me has felt productive and blessed in its unfolding, I am grateful for that.

Today’s message is quite sweet actually and funny, it talks of authenticity and being authentic in your truth is one of the most purest, honest acts of love there is, why because when you allow yourself to be and feel authentic you actually others to be and feel the same, plus it comes from a place of truth and that is a pure and honest place of the heart.

So today’s message is simply about being in your authentic truth and owning it, accepting it and allowing it.

Being vulnerable is not a weakness but a strength.

We are sometimes conditioned not to show too much because we may appear weak, but when you allow yourself to be who you are in any given moment, you are actually honouring your soul and that is a beautiful thing.

Confidence is sexy, being authentic is sexy and being honest is sexy, go on allow your sexy self to SHINE.

In love & Light, Susan xxx

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 15/04/2018

Good Afternoon,

Happy Sunday, I hope you are having a great Sunday.  It is nice to finally see a little bit of sunshine coming forth, we so need this, it has felt like a long winter.

Times are a little bit challenging at the moment with the conflict going on with Syria.  Today’s card has peaceful connotations and we can all do with finding a little inner peace where we can.

When we trust the Universe to have our back we go with the natural flow of things and the natural order of things, there is a sense of trust and there is a sense of not trying to control anything, just an inner knowing that what is meant for you, will reveal itself and finds its way.  Yes to a degree we have to plan, we have to control some aspects of our lives, but it isn’t possible to control everything, and its a good job I say, can you imagine what it would feel like to continuously be trying to control everything, how much pressure that would put on ourselves.

So today’s card talks about alignment, being in alignment with the love of the Universe, and that when we are in alignment with it, our peace simply cannot be disrupted because we are constantly in a state of trust, a state of mind of just allowing things to naturally unfold and that frees us up to utilise energy of worry, anxiety or control to be used in a constructive way. Positive, don’t you think?

So today’s message is as below:-20180415_163649 (1).jpg

Always trust some of the things that you feel are out of your control that if it is for your greatest and highest good, to your greatest and highest vibration then it will manifest and if it isn’t to be part of your soul call, it naturally won’t materialise.  Oh and remember, a key point to consider is this, “A No Is Not A Rejection, but simply a Cosmic Redirection”

In Love & Light Susan xxx