Another cycle ends – transformation and connecting with my feelings associated.

#It’s an inside journey#

It seems lately there is less time to write as much as I used to be able too.  I find myself feeling emotional today, as I am coming to an end of another cycle, what is it about endings that evoke so much emotion, even knowing that every ending is going to open a new doorway.  An example I can think of, is this, ending a relationship that is negative, dysfunctional and has evoked negative emotions associated, one would imagine that one would feel “Happy” and yet the feelings that arise, are feelings of loss, and then there is the cycle of emotions that give rise to grieving.  This is an example to understand.

I say goodbye this week to a role that has come to completion for 2 years, it has been an experience of both positive and negative, positive because of the connections made, the laughter, the giggles, connecting with new people, being able to be a listening ear to those that have needed it, even being a listening ear to those who have projected their anger, because of the space that they were in at the time.  The negative the demands on the physical and emotional body.  I feel it is now time to close that door and say “Goodbye and “Thank you” for the journey, the experience, the highs and the lows.  But isn’t it amazing how closing doors, brings you closer to your emotions of loss, from previous doors that you have closed, or in some cases, closed because you had no choice, because closure may not have been completely possible.

I have just finished today, my 2nd job for the week, this will end next month, it is time for a new chapter, new beginnings, and even knowing that this will usher in new growth, I cannot help but feel a tinge of emotions, like awww, it feels a little sad, it has reminded me of other losses.  You see my viewpoint is this, that in this life, this fast paced western world we are so very busy pressing on, not giving ourselves time to process our emotions, our feelings associated with whatever we may be experiencing that we can if not careful walk around like we are “dead” emotionless, unfeeling, detached from our inner core emotions, and that in my mind is not good for the Mind, Body nor the Spirit.

I understand for many a feeling person who is in touch with their emotions, can feel too intense for many who choose to lock their emotions away, detach from them, store them in a box, never to open Pandora’s box until “Spirit” or the “Universe” decide to give you a situation or scenario, whereby you have to revisit, can you imagine for a moment that had you have had the courage, foresight and strength to initially allow yourself to tap into your emotions for each given situation, circumstance or event at that moment in time, what you would have been saving yourself from re-visiting later? Its true so much we would have saved ourselves if we had the courage to deal with it “NOW”

So today, I am feeling a little full of mixed emotions as I say goodbye to one chapter this month, then another chapter next month, when for the last 3 years I have been struggling with coming to terms and accepting a real big chapter and cycle in my life that was to be my biggest challenge emotionally yet, confronting, the face of what felt like “Death” “Loss” “Rejection” and feeling unworthy.

I have worked hard to claw my way back up from the very bottomless pit of the rabbit hole, and believe you me, there are moments when there is a trigger such as a loss, or a transition, that sets me back briefly, just momentarily to remembering where I have come from and where I have been.

Today, has felt a deeply moving day emotionally, the past 4 years have been hard as I have been working on my business this business and in the moments of healing, working with depression, counselling, past life regression to look at patterns that I may have been repeating, and allowing myself to be defined by how others have chosen to treat me, and what I have allowed in that process, has been deep.  So now couple with the wisdom of a mother who has raised 3 children to adulthood, who has experienced, many deaths, many failures, many rejections, many challenges, I can honestly say that as I sit back I can actually say, Susan, you really ought to be proud of yourself.

You see the greatest Teacher that we have is not Education, is not text book theories, no ideologies, not philosophies, but simply “Life experiences” and the pain associated with such.  Along with life experiences, pain is our greatest Teacher, for in this we are confronted with our weaknesses, confronted with our strengths, with our boundaries, with what we will accept and what we won’t and we are too faced with our vulnerabilities, we are stripped away of all ego facets of our soul and character and then once the unveiling takes place, we are confronted with a fresh new childlike new beginning on which to transmute all of the learning that has been gleaned from the whole journey;

I am proud to say that I am now much more accepting, comfortable with loss and transformation than I have ever been, even allowing myself to visit the emotions associated with the changes that take place.  Today I was given some feedback on my Group that I run on Facebook, and to me it was one of my most powerful messages that I have received, for believe me in the moments that I have doubted myself, in that journey of allowing myself to be defined by what I felt was a rejection of me, and a rejection of me not being good enough, I received affirmation and confirmation that the whole ethos of my Group Spiritual Reflections & Thoughts.  The Journey that it is successful and it does make a difference, and believe you me in the moments when I doubted myself, my souls call and who I was, who I am, I nearly called the whole lot in.  I tried a few times, but was told by Facebook that the page was of value to its followers and they would not let me close it, this coupled with today’s message has indicated to me that I am a powerful, strong woman who has been to hell and back and has risen.  As in the voice of Maya Angelou, I share a symbolism of who I can identify with,

Still I Rise

Maya Angelou1928 – 2014

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

From And Still I Rise by Maya Angelou. Copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou. Reprinted by permission of Random House, Inc.

My spirit got broken, but not my essence, that can never be taken away for it sits in the well of my soul and comes to my aid in real times of need.

 

“And Still I Rise” and in doing so I have learnt so much about me, and what I am capable of.  Thank you for the lessons, that have enable to me to view them in the mirror of

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Susan Lawrence

Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching.

We all play a part in each others soul’s growth!

Good Morning, Happy Monday, blessings for a beautiful week ahead.

There are some moments where my reflective processing feels deeper than others, but there is nothing more that I love than a good laugh!!  Ever had those moments where you connect with some loved ones, friends and the laughter just roles.

This morning has me thinking about the roles we all play, I firmly believe that our connections either bring out the best, or the worst.  That the long connections, brief connections, short connections, all play a part in the interconnections of our souls journey.  I believe that people come into our lives either a lesson or a blessing.

The truth is the process of elimination & discernment to discover which, at times through the journey of these processes in takes time for revelations to reveal themselves, what comes after dark, always comes to light.

Make sure though that those that are present and who have shown up you appreciate them, please do let them know that they matter, that they feel important to your heart and your soul, for there is nothing sweeter than feeling acknowledged, validated, and noticed from that loving space of appreciation, who doesn’t like to feel appreciated? validated and acknowledged.

Look out for the positive interactions, those that support you to become the best version of you, and remembering it is a two way street, equally that you support those that mean something to you, to become the best version of them.

Life and its connections always ought to be about give and take in equal measure, not take, take, take, that is an imbalance that both parties can do without.

Sometimes the lessons or the blessings come to realisation later on, but most of all let your soul guide you as to who feels “right”  who feels a right fit, you cannot go wrong with that inner gut antennae that speaks volumes as it either feels good, or feels uncomfortable in its gnawing truth.

Thank all those that have been a blessing, never forgetting a moment of gratitude for all of the lessons and the blessings, in whichever way they come.

Have a great week ahead,

With love & light, Susan xxxx

 

Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching 29258579_640976379573874_8486568649174286336_o10277005_701498216574361_3112295131616827545_n

 

What is your power? unique to YOU!

It has been a while since I have written anything, its been a quiet reflective time of re-evaluation!   This is essential in a period of transition.  I hope that this finds you well today as you read.

I wanted to write about the energy of the numbers.  “Numerology” each of us do hold within our souls purpose a blueprint and purpose in relation to our Birth Name, Birth date.  So I thought it would be a useful exercise to show a reflection of each number and what that means.

Number 1 – relates to new beginnings, independence, innovation, leadership, masculine principle.

Number 2 – relates harmony, unity, relationships, co-operation, feminine principle

Number 3 – saying one’s truth, imagination, creativity, optimism, playfulness, creative expression

Number 4 – building, formation, hard work, endurance, seriousness, practicality

Number 5 – change, transition, progressive thinking, resourceful, freedom, versatility, promotion.

Number 6 – balance, nurturing, service orientated, responsibility and duty, family focus, marriage and divorce number, domestic and work issues

Number 7 – analysis, research, science, technology, solitude, wisdom, spiritual focus, investigative, mystical and metaphysical

Number 8 – authority, power, finances, business, success, material wealth, organization, self-mastery.

Number 9 – endings, vision, tolerance, transformation, spiritual consciousness, cosmic, teaching, global awareness, perfection.

Master Numbers

Number 11 – master of illumination, the inspirational messenger, the number of light, one who raises consciousness, reformer of world problems, wants to uplift others, inspires by teaching own truth

Number 22 – master builder, visionary knows how to plan and execute large projects, wants to further consciousness of humanity, especially feminine consciousness, powerful skills of manifestation, the humanitarian

Number 33 – teacher of teachers, master of compassion, master of healing through love, use of creative energies to serve others

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If you would like a reading with the principles of using Angel cards, Intuition, Numerology and Astrology, please do get in contact by emailing susanlawrencesoulcoaching@gmail.com, cost and times will be discussed at your point of contact.

You have so much more hidden potential than you realise.

My number vibration is a 33/6 just to give you a little insight!

In love, light and blessings, Susan xx

The Circle Of Life!

Today I had a moment to reflect and feel amazed at having 3 Adult children, I feel amazed at how quickly time flies, how it goes and the memories all role into a ball ready for moments to be recalled.

I remember each of their Births like yesterday, the feelings, the joy, the sad reflective moments, the pure joy at holding my little bundle in my arms, and how proud I feel as I stand back and think, I am so very proud of you all.

The circle of life is always present and evident in every day life, in the Seasons, the Weather, things are born and things die, life can be like this with cycles and seasons too, so too can our own journey, in the cycles and situations that we experience, and it is okay, because what I have learnt over the years is this, nothing stays the same forever, everything is temporary for the period of time it needs to be that way, until the change and evolution of growth through a situation, event or circumstance.  Sometimes we place pressure on ourselves, with that inner dialogue that takes place, I should be this, I should be that by now, but everything has its time, everything has its place, and everything has its season.

For the real tragedy of life is not death, but what we allow to die inside of us while we live.

The true testimony is Rising from life’s tragedies and still standing when you feel like you have nothing left, when you are going through it, it doesn’t feel like you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, but later on, upon reflection you can feel immensely proud of yourself for discovering you had so much inner strength to get through.

Find the joy in between life’s challenges to find a balance and you can’t go wrong.

With love & light, Susan xxx

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 17/04/2018

Good evening, good evening,

I hope you have had a great Tuesday and it has left you feeling that you have accomplished something, made a difference in some way, or simply enjoyed just being in the 20180417_175314.jpgmoment.

Today for me has felt productive and blessed in its unfolding, I am grateful for that.

Today’s message is quite sweet actually and funny, it talks of authenticity and being authentic in your truth is one of the most purest, honest acts of love there is, why because when you allow yourself to be and feel authentic you actually others to be and feel the same, plus it comes from a place of truth and that is a pure and honest place of the heart.

So today’s message is simply about being in your authentic truth and owning it, accepting it and allowing it.

Being vulnerable is not a weakness but a strength.

We are sometimes conditioned not to show too much because we may appear weak, but when you allow yourself to be who you are in any given moment, you are actually honouring your soul and that is a beautiful thing.

Confidence is sexy, being authentic is sexy and being honest is sexy, go on allow your sexy self to SHINE.

In love & Light, Susan xxx

Moon is in Pisces today – Your Moon Sign and the sign it is in, is your emotional self!

I do like to look at the rhythm of the Moon, in terms of it being a Full Moon, New Moon, it is possible to live flowing with the cycle of the moon and what this pertains.  Did you know that the sign that the Moon was in at the time of your birth is indicative of how you respond emotionally to life and its events?

I have Pisces as my Moon sign and it also ties in with my other Astrological placings with Cancer in Venus in my 8th House, Mars in Cancer in the 8th House, Neptune in Scorpio in my 12th House, so there is a great deal of watery emotions that go on.

In the theme as of our Sun sign there is the lower vibration and frequency that we may operate and the higher vibration frequency that we may be working towards.  In particular when operating from ones lower frequency, (not quite actualised and realised ones full spiritual potential) the Pisces Moon sign may seek approval from others, there may be an aspect of seeing the world at large with rose coloured tinted glasses and getting lost in ones own world of escapism, a healthy dose of escapism isn’t a bad thing, we all need that little place of retreat that we can go to, to feel a sense of safety and protection.

When operating from ones highest vibration, there is the capacity to take full responsibility for ones own life without a desire, or need for the approval from others and to support others through healing in supporting them on how to heal their own inner demons, and negative thought patterns.  How one does this is by the realization of other points of view and accepting these.   There is a tendency for the Pisces Moon sign to continuously seek perfection, which in actualization does not exist and is just a figment of ones illusion and perception of how things ought to be.

Past Lives 

Did you know that if you have Pisces in your makeup whether it be in your Moon sign or Sun sign there has been an element of having a previous incarnation in the priesthood, monastery or convent and your natural default mechanism is to shut yourself off when things feel far to overwhelming or too much, too much stimulus can have your running for the hills and hiding yourself away to escape.  You see Pisces are sensitive feeling souls with exceptionally sensitive and high intuition which pick up the unspoken messages that others convey, there is a sense of knowing exactly what is being shown even if it is not verbalised and expressed vocally.  You can expect a Pisces to have a real sense of knowing what you are feeling and when you are feeling it.  There has in a previous incarnation a result of being “looked after” so that this in this lifetime you will have to work exceptionally hard and achieve results by yourself.  This will feel frustrating and hard at times, but it is as a result of being supported to a high degree so that in this lifetime it is payback, karma time for you to give back.  Nothing does come easy for you, it is very hard work, there will be times where you may feel that you are fighting a continuous battle.  If you feel super sensitive today and your intuition is heightened today, then this may help you understand why.

Trust your gut, it speaks volumes and conveys messages for you to process for a reason, and remember if in doubt, leave it out, if it feels okay then continue.

In love and lunar light Susan xxxxinstaquote-11-04-2018-04-30-45.png

 

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 09/04/2018

Good Evening,

How has your day been today, I awoke today feeling uber sensitive, perhaps it is because I am fending off a heavy cold and have been feeling a little bit out of sorts, desperately trying to continue doing what needs to be done, ever get those moments where you just feel yucky?

Sensitive, insecurities popping up to feel heard, concerns, worries, yes I have those human thoughts too.

Today’s card has me in mind of Carl Jung’s Shadow Self and his work, I do find his work interesting and quite fascinating, its depth, its terminology and its meaning, I relate the term Shadow Self here

Shadow: Hidden or unconscious aspects of oneself which the ego has either repressed or never recognized.  I do think that in order to do any type of healing work it is essential to touch base with core aspects of our shadow self, this is not always an easy thing to do, as sometimes going back to some earlier experiences can reinforce the trauma experienced, but I do believe that in order to heal one must allow oneself to feel with guidance.

Today’s card relates to two polar opposites darkness and light, it is ironic as I am so aware of these feelings within myself today and have allowed myself to feel what I am feeling with an understanding that whatever it is that my subconscious self is trying to reveal to me, it will do so in its rightful timing.

So today I ask you what are you aware of within yourself that is rippling from your subconscious?

Today’s message is this, what is it you fear? what is it that I fear? what is feared? and how can it be transmuted through the energy of love, well I did take myself out of my comfort zone today, doing so is always a positive thing as it means one is challenging oneself, so if you do identify with something that is making you feel a little bit wobbly and you identify it as “Fear” challenge it, face it and then allow it to flow and move through you.  You got this, quite often what we fear is imagined anyway and blown up in our minds and the actual thought of it is far worse.

I am not going to say stay positive, because I do feel that is a clique, you cannot tell someone to stay positive when they are having thoughts and feelings, but you can support them to identify with what they are feeling, process it, acknowledge it, validate it and then work with a choice on how to move past it, that right there is the gift.

Stay true to your feeling self, knowing that you have the power within you to make a choice whether you allow something to define you or not.

In love & Light Susan xx

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Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 31/03/2018.

As I drew this card and saw its message, I thought okay!

“Energy Flows Where My Intention Goes”

I ask you, what are your currently setting your intent on? have you noticed positive things happening? or negative things happening.

Quite often if there are positive things coming up for us, it means that we are aligning our thoughts with these manifestations, similarly the same can be said if we are experiencing difficulties, one does need to ask oneself, what is it that I may be attracting?

Now that may seem a little bit of an odd question to ask, but perhaps one needs to think about our thoughts from a subconscious point of view, sometimes what we think we are thinking about, may be totally different from what we are displaying from our subconscious soul. Deep, yes, it is.

So if you are experiencing some challenges ask yourself too what is the lesson? I am being shown.

Have a great Easter Weekend, with love & light. Susan xxx20180331_213607.jpg

What do you need to release this Full Moon 31/3/2018 – Second Blue Moon of 2018

There have been such a long of deep ripples in relation to energy which has felt dank, dark and heavy, we have just left Mercury Retrograde, that is always a trying time, usually when Mercury Retrograde is around it can be testing and trying times, plus there has been a big solar shift and on top of this, today a Full Moon, which is termed a blue moon, the moon won’t actually be blue, it is just termed as such.

Usually in the manner I post in my group and pages on Facebook “What do you need to release this Full Moon”? it is usually a time for letting go of that which you feel no longer serves your greatest and highest vibration for your soul, a reminder that nothing is ever “Good” or “Bad” it just is, things just have a way of coming to their natural end.  So if you find yourself in a situation that you have felt some ripples, reverberations that something isn’t right (it usually isn’t) then allow your intuition to guide you and go with that.

It simply means the Reason, Season and Time have been reached for that part of your soul journey, and that the Universe your souls calling is preparing you ready for your next chapter of soul growth, quite often there is a bit of resistance and it can feel like an inner tug of war with yourself, that is okay, go with it, things will settle, once you have had an opportunity to process your emotions around what you may be experiencing.

Sometimes there just needs to be a shift for renewal and sometimes we take some along with us, once a shift has taken place, sometimes we may need to let go, and sometimes we need to just trust the timing of the Universe.

So on that note, Happy Releasing, Happy Renewal for your soul to prepare for its next chapter, after all in we stay the same, growth doesn’t happen.

Growth simply cannot happen by staying the same, thank any lessons for their blessings and for giving you the opportunity to have had some new teaching.

Happy Lunar Release.

In Love & Light, Susan xxxxIMG_20180331_202913_29811241491_430514817122947_1670245204_n