An Interdependent Relationship is the healthiest way v co-dependency, learning the art of detachment in relationships.

Relationships, the most sought after thing, yet for many, including myself can feel illusive, why is that, well here is my learning, until we get healthy with ourselves and weed out negative behaviour patterns and negative conditioning, we simply cannot be healthy with another, this is not to say for one moment, that one ought to take full responsibility for the demise of a relationship in its totality, but an understanding of how you played a part in that demise and what part you played.

You simply cannot expect to make another accountable if they choose not to be aware, or simply acknowledge in communication with you, their part, or even validate any hurt their actions may have fostered.

You see pain, in particular in relationships, I believe are one of our greatest Teachers, and greatest assets to be able to force us to grow and come out of our conditioned comfort zone.

Many will say how the hell can you give advice on relationships when you are not in one? well here is the thing, if you are a person who does reflect and does look in the mirror you can glean a lot from what hasn’t worked, what things you have done, what things you haven’t done and you can take this lessons forward, there is no greater lesson than that what is deemed as failure both from your own inner critic and from an observational view of the lens.

I have come to learn that the reason why the very thing that you may truly desire from your soul and heart eludes you, is because perhaps you have been eluding yourself? quite often the focus on “other” is a mechanism to deflect you from looking at yourself, it is easy to get into a situation whereby it’s always the other persons fault, but that is just proportioning blame, which serves no purpose, that is just a justification to take no responsibility for being part of that journey.

You see my learning is that when you love deeply there can be acts of imbalance in that you give all of yourself, sometimes at times at the expense of “other” when in actual fact, the gift is to learn interdependence, keep a level of individuality and a level of interdependence in equal measure.  Having been part of unhealthy relationships, I now get to witness so much earlier on, the red flags of where a situation could become co-dependent, that is not love, that is enabling, that is control, and love is not about control.

Love needs to be given a space to be free, to flourish, to grow, to emerge in its floral design, so that both emerge and grow to their highest and greatest potential.  One of the healthiest relationships is where honest, truthful and connected, present communication exists, where there is absolutely no fear or judgement in being able to express your true, honest and authentic self.

The gift of loving unconditionally without expectation is the gift of detachment, for when you get to a place where there is no expectation of an outcome, there is no need, nor desire to “fix” other, but to focus on fixing, YOU, that is the gift of a healthy relationship.

In today’s society there are a great deal of unhealthy relationships, I know this from a wisdom perspective, and knowledge as being part of a group, observation and reading.

Unhealthy relationship patterns can be learnt from an early age, even from the perspective of what appears on the outside, a very healthy relationship to co-dependency and enabling patterns that take place in the home.

When you can get to a place where you can safely allow your souls true authentic self to shine, express itself without fear or judgement, and the same for other, then that right there is a healthy balance.

Love is not control, loves needs space to be able to express its truth, not all flowers and rose tinted glasses all of the time, but the moments of emotions that may not feel very comfortable, when you get to a place where you can connect with someone and you show all facets of your character and personality and there is nothing hidden, and both of you are able to hold each other in those moments by being emotionally present and available, that is a healthy relationship.

If you feel the need to “fix” make excuses, dum down who you are, or suppress your emotions or who you are that is control, that isn’t healthy.  The importance of honest communication is also about allowing yourself to vocalise your feelings without fear this helps the relationship grow because you are showing your vulnerability, and it is only when we truly drop our guard, show our vulnerability that we can truly have an honest loving relationship and remember, just because you behave in a particular way, it does not mean expecting other to be the same, because that right there is one of the situations that will set you up for a fall.  Most of us do have an expectation of how we perceive things should be, but in the love stakes, usually it turns out to be completely different, that is because we had an expectation.

Love is a gift when it is allowed to grow and flow.

In love & light, Susan. xxx

(c) Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching.PortraitSoulPic

 

Another cycle ends – transformation and connecting with my feelings associated.

#It’s an inside journey#

It seems lately there is less time to write as much as I used to be able too.  I find myself feeling emotional today, as I am coming to an end of another cycle, what is it about endings that evoke so much emotion, even knowing that every ending is going to open a new doorway.  An example I can think of, is this, ending a relationship that is negative, dysfunctional and has evoked negative emotions associated, one would imagine that one would feel “Happy” and yet the feelings that arise, are feelings of loss, and then there is the cycle of emotions that give rise to grieving.  This is an example to understand.

I say goodbye this week to a role that has come to completion for 2 years, it has been an experience of both positive and negative, positive because of the connections made, the laughter, the giggles, connecting with new people, being able to be a listening ear to those that have needed it, even being a listening ear to those who have projected their anger, because of the space that they were in at the time.  The negative the demands on the physical and emotional body.  I feel it is now time to close that door and say “Goodbye and “Thank you” for the journey, the experience, the highs and the lows.  But isn’t it amazing how closing doors, brings you closer to your emotions of loss, from previous doors that you have closed, or in some cases, closed because you had no choice, because closure may not have been completely possible.

I have just finished today, my 2nd job for the week, this will end next month, it is time for a new chapter, new beginnings, and even knowing that this will usher in new growth, I cannot help but feel a tinge of emotions, like awww, it feels a little sad, it has reminded me of other losses.  You see my viewpoint is this, that in this life, this fast paced western world we are so very busy pressing on, not giving ourselves time to process our emotions, our feelings associated with whatever we may be experiencing that we can if not careful walk around like we are “dead” emotionless, unfeeling, detached from our inner core emotions, and that in my mind is not good for the Mind, Body nor the Spirit.

I understand for many a feeling person who is in touch with their emotions, can feel too intense for many who choose to lock their emotions away, detach from them, store them in a box, never to open Pandora’s box until “Spirit” or the “Universe” decide to give you a situation or scenario, whereby you have to revisit, can you imagine for a moment that had you have had the courage, foresight and strength to initially allow yourself to tap into your emotions for each given situation, circumstance or event at that moment in time, what you would have been saving yourself from re-visiting later? Its true so much we would have saved ourselves if we had the courage to deal with it “NOW”

So today, I am feeling a little full of mixed emotions as I say goodbye to one chapter this month, then another chapter next month, when for the last 3 years I have been struggling with coming to terms and accepting a real big chapter and cycle in my life that was to be my biggest challenge emotionally yet, confronting, the face of what felt like “Death” “Loss” “Rejection” and feeling unworthy.

I have worked hard to claw my way back up from the very bottomless pit of the rabbit hole, and believe you me, there are moments when there is a trigger such as a loss, or a transition, that sets me back briefly, just momentarily to remembering where I have come from and where I have been.

Today, has felt a deeply moving day emotionally, the past 4 years have been hard as I have been working on my business this business and in the moments of healing, working with depression, counselling, past life regression to look at patterns that I may have been repeating, and allowing myself to be defined by how others have chosen to treat me, and what I have allowed in that process, has been deep.  So now couple with the wisdom of a mother who has raised 3 children to adulthood, who has experienced, many deaths, many failures, many rejections, many challenges, I can honestly say that as I sit back I can actually say, Susan, you really ought to be proud of yourself.

You see the greatest Teacher that we have is not Education, is not text book theories, no ideologies, not philosophies, but simply “Life experiences” and the pain associated with such.  Along with life experiences, pain is our greatest Teacher, for in this we are confronted with our weaknesses, confronted with our strengths, with our boundaries, with what we will accept and what we won’t and we are too faced with our vulnerabilities, we are stripped away of all ego facets of our soul and character and then once the unveiling takes place, we are confronted with a fresh new childlike new beginning on which to transmute all of the learning that has been gleaned from the whole journey;

I am proud to say that I am now much more accepting, comfortable with loss and transformation than I have ever been, even allowing myself to visit the emotions associated with the changes that take place.  Today I was given some feedback on my Group that I run on Facebook, and to me it was one of my most powerful messages that I have received, for believe me in the moments that I have doubted myself, in that journey of allowing myself to be defined by what I felt was a rejection of me, and a rejection of me not being good enough, I received affirmation and confirmation that the whole ethos of my Group Spiritual Reflections & Thoughts.  The Journey that it is successful and it does make a difference, and believe you me in the moments when I doubted myself, my souls call and who I was, who I am, I nearly called the whole lot in.  I tried a few times, but was told by Facebook that the page was of value to its followers and they would not let me close it, this coupled with today’s message has indicated to me that I am a powerful, strong woman who has been to hell and back and has risen.  As in the voice of Maya Angelou, I share a symbolism of who I can identify with,

Still I Rise

Maya Angelou1928 – 2014

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

From And Still I Rise by Maya Angelou. Copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou. Reprinted by permission of Random House, Inc.

My spirit got broken, but not my essence, that can never be taken away for it sits in the well of my soul and comes to my aid in real times of need.

 

“And Still I Rise” and in doing so I have learnt so much about me, and what I am capable of.  Thank you for the lessons, that have enable to me to view them in the mirror of

reflection. photo-1438762398043-ac196c2fa1e7

 

Susan Lawrence

Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching.

We all play a part in each others soul’s growth!

Good Morning, Happy Monday, blessings for a beautiful week ahead.

There are some moments where my reflective processing feels deeper than others, but there is nothing more that I love than a good laugh!!  Ever had those moments where you connect with some loved ones, friends and the laughter just roles.

This morning has me thinking about the roles we all play, I firmly believe that our connections either bring out the best, or the worst.  That the long connections, brief connections, short connections, all play a part in the interconnections of our souls journey.  I believe that people come into our lives either a lesson or a blessing.

The truth is the process of elimination & discernment to discover which, at times through the journey of these processes in takes time for revelations to reveal themselves, what comes after dark, always comes to light.

Make sure though that those that are present and who have shown up you appreciate them, please do let them know that they matter, that they feel important to your heart and your soul, for there is nothing sweeter than feeling acknowledged, validated, and noticed from that loving space of appreciation, who doesn’t like to feel appreciated? validated and acknowledged.

Look out for the positive interactions, those that support you to become the best version of you, and remembering it is a two way street, equally that you support those that mean something to you, to become the best version of them.

Life and its connections always ought to be about give and take in equal measure, not take, take, take, that is an imbalance that both parties can do without.

Sometimes the lessons or the blessings come to realisation later on, but most of all let your soul guide you as to who feels “right”  who feels a right fit, you cannot go wrong with that inner gut antennae that speaks volumes as it either feels good, or feels uncomfortable in its gnawing truth.

Thank all those that have been a blessing, never forgetting a moment of gratitude for all of the lessons and the blessings, in whichever way they come.

Have a great week ahead,

With love & light, Susan xxxx

 

Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching 29258579_640976379573874_8486568649174286336_o10277005_701498216574361_3112295131616827545_n

 

Allow your soul to go where it feels celebrated!

Happy Sunday lunar time,

I have not long returned home from a jaunt in Manchester.  What has really struck a chord with me is how beautiful it can be to get away and have a change of scenery.  I have been feeling of late it is all work, work, work and very little change, so I set about creating the change I desired and went away for the weekend to a music event where I could set my soul free through dance and music, so freeing, so liberating and so regenerative.

You see when you become mindful of your life its content, its workings both from an inner and outer perspective you do recognize what needs to be shifted, I did.  Right now as I write I am listening to 432 Hz Binaural Beats music and it is really doing wonders for my soul.

You see you can too be the change you desire, where do you see an imbalance in your life? what do you feel isn’t quite working? feeling quite right? sitting quite right? what do you feel you can do to change that?

Reflect!!

It struck a chord with me that we can go anywhere where our soul feels celebrated, you see our soul family come in many shapes and forms, earth angels, spiritual angels, spirit guides, ancestors, work colleague, intimate relationships, siblings, children, friends, it is important to allow your soul to direct you to where you feel most celebrated, there is nothing more powerful than feeling a sense of oneness with another, despite the resistance, we all do crave this, its human, it a necessary component of feeling a sense of belonging.  Whilst at the same time, if you have gotten to a stage of feeling comfortable with your aloneness, this sets you in a good place.  A healthy place, a place where that interdependence is not born out of need but a simple desire, the two are intrinsically different.

Be thankful the moments where you feel at one with another, or others for that too is a gift, when you feel a sense of acceptance, when you feel a sense of joy, a sense of love, and a sense of just being able to be you, how beautifully soul powerful is that.

So please do become aware of where your soul feels celebrated, it saves you wasting precious energy on connections that are not good for your soul and vice versa.

Go where you feel celebrated, for this too is a gift.

In love & light, Susan xxxx

(photo credit Le-Kiet) le-kiet-384971-unsplash.jpg

Time is a Healer! The Gift of Time

Every day is unique in its unfolding.
They say that time is a healer, you cannot place time on any healing that needs to take place, for it is like layers of an onion, each layer that sheds gives rise to an emergence of another layer to be healed.
The severity of the trauma or the experience will always be a unique one to each individual, I do admire those that appear to have the ability to dust themselves off, like flour on their clothes, dust, dust, then its gone, but is it really though? hmmmm I do wonder, for humans have the capacity to compartmentalize their stored experiences of hurt and pain in a tight lidded box, to be open again at ones choosing and peril, or when they are triggered and they have no choice but to look the hurt in the eye and say yes, I am ready now to deal with it. aaron-burden-622662-unsplash.jpg
In this though this only prolongs the healing that needs to take place, compounds it, one thing that we can do in this beautiful unfolding of “Life” is enjoy each day, live it, experience it, whilst we still give ourselves permission to be in this timeframe of NOW!!
Time is a healer, it isn’t finite, we cannot say I will feel better today, tomorrow, next week, next month or next year, it truly is a unique thing, the capacity to be able to still function though whilst one gives themselves time to heal what their soul as asking to be healed is the capacity to enjoy each day in its unfolding, to find the joy in each day.
I know from experience that behind every smile there are an ocean of tears, indeed though, this does not mean for one moment that there isn’t the capacity to laugh, giggle even though somehow, somewhere you may be hurting inside, for the gift of time, wisdom and experience is the blessings of being able to function and still get on and move away for just a moment from the pain.
Not forgetting though for those that struggle, sometimes the struggle is just too real, sometimes the transformation from pain to joy seems just a little to long a way for them, never judge, for how can we, when we are not walking a mile in their shoes, we may be able to understand the pain, but everyone will have their own unique strategies, coping mechanisms and ways of dealing with it, there is no right or wrong.
Remembering that as John Holt says, Time Is The Master!!
Remembering that Tears are the Liquid Emotions That The Heart Cannot Express!!
No judgement please for Time is a healer in all things.
With Light and Love, Susan xxxxx

The Circle Of Life!

Today I had a moment to reflect and feel amazed at having 3 Adult children, I feel amazed at how quickly time flies, how it goes and the memories all role into a ball ready for moments to be recalled.

I remember each of their Births like yesterday, the feelings, the joy, the sad reflective moments, the pure joy at holding my little bundle in my arms, and how proud I feel as I stand back and think, I am so very proud of you all.

The circle of life is always present and evident in every day life, in the Seasons, the Weather, things are born and things die, life can be like this with cycles and seasons too, so too can our own journey, in the cycles and situations that we experience, and it is okay, because what I have learnt over the years is this, nothing stays the same forever, everything is temporary for the period of time it needs to be that way, until the change and evolution of growth through a situation, event or circumstance.  Sometimes we place pressure on ourselves, with that inner dialogue that takes place, I should be this, I should be that by now, but everything has its time, everything has its place, and everything has its season.

For the real tragedy of life is not death, but what we allow to die inside of us while we live.

The true testimony is Rising from life’s tragedies and still standing when you feel like you have nothing left, when you are going through it, it doesn’t feel like you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, but later on, upon reflection you can feel immensely proud of yourself for discovering you had so much inner strength to get through.

Find the joy in between life’s challenges to find a balance and you can’t go wrong.

With love & light, Susan xxx

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 15/04/2018

Good Afternoon,

Happy Sunday, I hope you are having a great Sunday.  It is nice to finally see a little bit of sunshine coming forth, we so need this, it has felt like a long winter.

Times are a little bit challenging at the moment with the conflict going on with Syria.  Today’s card has peaceful connotations and we can all do with finding a little inner peace where we can.

When we trust the Universe to have our back we go with the natural flow of things and the natural order of things, there is a sense of trust and there is a sense of not trying to control anything, just an inner knowing that what is meant for you, will reveal itself and finds its way.  Yes to a degree we have to plan, we have to control some aspects of our lives, but it isn’t possible to control everything, and its a good job I say, can you imagine what it would feel like to continuously be trying to control everything, how much pressure that would put on ourselves.

So today’s card talks about alignment, being in alignment with the love of the Universe, and that when we are in alignment with it, our peace simply cannot be disrupted because we are constantly in a state of trust, a state of mind of just allowing things to naturally unfold and that frees us up to utilise energy of worry, anxiety or control to be used in a constructive way. Positive, don’t you think?

So today’s message is as below:-20180415_163649 (1).jpg

Always trust some of the things that you feel are out of your control that if it is for your greatest and highest good, to your greatest and highest vibration then it will manifest and if it isn’t to be part of your soul call, it naturally won’t materialise.  Oh and remember, a key point to consider is this, “A No Is Not A Rejection, but simply a Cosmic Redirection”

In Love & Light Susan xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 11/04/2018

Uh oh! its 03.20 am in the Morning and I am awake, after going to sleep early because I thought let me get some rest and an early night, early sleep, early rising, so to speak, ones sleep pattern can be awry and all over the place, occasionally, never mind.

How are you doing? Happy Wednesday, today’s message is a nice one, it relates to “Fun” I definitely feel of late all work and little play, the balance needs to be restored 🙂

It states in today’s card drawn, “The Universe Works Fast When I’m Having Fun”, how I decipher today’s message is this, when everything is in alignment and you are enjoying what you are doing, everything falls into place. Nice!! certainly a good one.

So if you are currently enjoying what you are doing, having fun with it, trust that the Universe will give you more of the same in alignment and everything will continue to fall in place, how gorgeous is that!

Wishing you a great Wednesday in all that you do today, continue in the theme of Joy, Fun and do it from a place of passion, love and joy 🙂 have a truly beautiful day, in love & light, Susan xxx20180411_031656.jpg

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message – 10/04/2018

Good Morning, Good Morning, Good Morning,

Happy Tuesday, may your Tuesday be awesome!

We are wonderful Spirits having human experiences which come in many forms and in many ways, oh the learning that ensues with such experiences are vast, are wide and we learn all of the time, we are constantly evolving, which is a good thing, can you imagine if we did not allow ourselves to evolve how stuck we would be?

Today’s message is an interesting one, it states ” I am a spirit having a human experience and I’m here to get closer to love” what does that actually mean, well….. getting closer to Love is being able to view life and its experiences in the eyes of Love, how you may ask? I have found viewing it from a lens that our experiences are sent to teach us and that if we can let go of any victim mentality that life has done us wrong, people have done us wrong, and view each and every experience, person, situation or event in the eyes of “Teaching” we do ourselves a far better service on healing our hearts.

When we align ourselves with the power and wisdom of coming at things through loving eyes life feels and becomes much more bearable.  Life doesn’t happen for us, life happens and it is as a result and a culmination of situations, events, circumstances, experiences that we either rise up into our highest vibration of our truth, or we go down a slipper spiral into our lower vibration.  Acknowledging both is equally important, but the truth is how far we stay down, how long for and whether we continue to allow it.

So remember Life happens to us, not for us, and we are the captains of our ship and we have a choice as to how we set the sail, keep ploughing through those choppy waters, you will be sure to get to the smoother waters in time.

Get closer to LOVE, get closer to your heart and allow yourself to get closer to your Truth.

In love & Light, Susan xxx20180410_081301.jpg

The 8th & 12th Astrological House – Your Shadow Self, Karma, Your secret doorway to your subconscious soul.

Today my mind feels deeper than usual if that is at all possible.  For sometime, a long time now I have held a belief that the 8th and 12th Astrological House in Astrology holds a great deal of information pertaining to our subconscious soul.

These two houses are where we store a great deal of secrets, a great deal of shadow stuff that we may not always desire to confront.

The 8th House in Astrology specifically relates to the astrological sign of Scorpio which relates to the cycle of Birth and Death and Sex, you can bet that if you do have planets in your 8th House then you will have lived a life of loss in differing forms, whether this is a physical loss, spiritual loss or emotional loss, there most definitely will be a depth to you, that some may not understand.  I have this, planets in my 8th astrological house and my 12th house and it just means that I tend to be very deep and some will even say complex, that I can live with and accept.

The 8th House is where you will go through a series of new beginnings and endings, some you will welcome, some you won’t. some you will find more manageable, some will feel more poignant and some will be felt deeply.

The 12th House is the house of mysteries, the house of “Secrets”, Have you had your Astrological chart done? do you know where your placings are for the 8th and 12th house, I will give you a breakdown now of the Houses and what they mean, I do feel that there is a direct correlation and link with Astrology, Tarot and Numerology and all are interlinked in some way.

The Houses: –

1st House – “The Self” – Beginnings, related to Aries

2nd House – Material and physical environment, income, related to Taurus

3rd House – Communication, siblings, nearby travel, related to Gemini

4th House – Foundation, basic security, imagine Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need, related to Cancer, “Mother”

5th House – the house of “Self Expression”, fun, play, related to Leo

6th House – Health, service to others, related to Virgo

7th House – The house of Relationships, partnerships, marriage, related to Libra

8th House – Birth, Death, Sex, Transformation, mysteries, other people’s property, inheritance, related to Scorpio

9th House – The higher mind, Expansion, International and long distance travel, related to Sagittarius

10th House – Government, Structures, Corporations, Father, related to Capricorn.

11th House – Teams, Friendships, Groups, Society, Networking, related to Aquarius.

12th House – Endings, Afterlife, Old Age, Hospitals, related to Pisces.

So if you haven’t had your Astrological Chart done before and you feel a desire to understand yourself more to gain insight into the inner workings of you, let me know and I will be happy to help.

Have a blessed day, the way to understanding others is to understand yourself.

A reminder that your soul made a choice to incarnate with all what you have chosen as your souls pathway to learn and grow. 20180407_085001.png

In love & Light, Susan xx