An Interdependent Relationship is the healthiest way v co-dependency, learning the art of detachment in relationships.

Relationships, the most sought after thing, yet for many, including myself can feel illusive, why is that, well here is my learning, until we get healthy with ourselves and weed out negative behaviour patterns and negative conditioning, we simply cannot be healthy with another, this is not to say for one moment, that one ought to take full responsibility for the demise of a relationship in its totality, but an understanding of how you played a part in that demise and what part you played.

You simply cannot expect to make another accountable if they choose not to be aware, or simply acknowledge in communication with you, their part, or even validate any hurt their actions may have fostered.

You see pain, in particular in relationships, I believe are one of our greatest Teachers, and greatest assets to be able to force us to grow and come out of our conditioned comfort zone.

Many will say how the hell can you give advice on relationships when you are not in one? well here is the thing, if you are a person who does reflect and does look in the mirror you can glean a lot from what hasn’t worked, what things you have done, what things you haven’t done and you can take this lessons forward, there is no greater lesson than that what is deemed as failure both from your own inner critic and from an observational view of the lens.

I have come to learn that the reason why the very thing that you may truly desire from your soul and heart eludes you, is because perhaps you have been eluding yourself? quite often the focus on “other” is a mechanism to deflect you from looking at yourself, it is easy to get into a situation whereby it’s always the other persons fault, but that is just proportioning blame, which serves no purpose, that is just a justification to take no responsibility for being part of that journey.

You see my learning is that when you love deeply there can be acts of imbalance in that you give all of yourself, sometimes at times at the expense of “other” when in actual fact, the gift is to learn interdependence, keep a level of individuality and a level of interdependence in equal measure.  Having been part of unhealthy relationships, I now get to witness so much earlier on, the red flags of where a situation could become co-dependent, that is not love, that is enabling, that is control, and love is not about control.

Love needs to be given a space to be free, to flourish, to grow, to emerge in its floral design, so that both emerge and grow to their highest and greatest potential.  One of the healthiest relationships is where honest, truthful and connected, present communication exists, where there is absolutely no fear or judgement in being able to express your true, honest and authentic self.

The gift of loving unconditionally without expectation is the gift of detachment, for when you get to a place where there is no expectation of an outcome, there is no need, nor desire to “fix” other, but to focus on fixing, YOU, that is the gift of a healthy relationship.

In today’s society there are a great deal of unhealthy relationships, I know this from a wisdom perspective, and knowledge as being part of a group, observation and reading.

Unhealthy relationship patterns can be learnt from an early age, even from the perspective of what appears on the outside, a very healthy relationship to co-dependency and enabling patterns that take place in the home.

When you can get to a place where you can safely allow your souls true authentic self to shine, express itself without fear or judgement, and the same for other, then that right there is a healthy balance.

Love is not control, loves needs space to be able to express its truth, not all flowers and rose tinted glasses all of the time, but the moments of emotions that may not feel very comfortable, when you get to a place where you can connect with someone and you show all facets of your character and personality and there is nothing hidden, and both of you are able to hold each other in those moments by being emotionally present and available, that is a healthy relationship.

If you feel the need to “fix” make excuses, dum down who you are, or suppress your emotions or who you are that is control, that isn’t healthy.  The importance of honest communication is also about allowing yourself to vocalise your feelings without fear this helps the relationship grow because you are showing your vulnerability, and it is only when we truly drop our guard, show our vulnerability that we can truly have an honest loving relationship and remember, just because you behave in a particular way, it does not mean expecting other to be the same, because that right there is one of the situations that will set you up for a fall.  Most of us do have an expectation of how we perceive things should be, but in the love stakes, usually it turns out to be completely different, that is because we had an expectation.

Love is a gift when it is allowed to grow and flow.

In love & light, Susan. xxx

(c) Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching.PortraitSoulPic

 

We all play a part in each others soul’s growth!

Good Morning, Happy Monday, blessings for a beautiful week ahead.

There are some moments where my reflective processing feels deeper than others, but there is nothing more that I love than a good laugh!!  Ever had those moments where you connect with some loved ones, friends and the laughter just roles.

This morning has me thinking about the roles we all play, I firmly believe that our connections either bring out the best, or the worst.  That the long connections, brief connections, short connections, all play a part in the interconnections of our souls journey.  I believe that people come into our lives either a lesson or a blessing.

The truth is the process of elimination & discernment to discover which, at times through the journey of these processes in takes time for revelations to reveal themselves, what comes after dark, always comes to light.

Make sure though that those that are present and who have shown up you appreciate them, please do let them know that they matter, that they feel important to your heart and your soul, for there is nothing sweeter than feeling acknowledged, validated, and noticed from that loving space of appreciation, who doesn’t like to feel appreciated? validated and acknowledged.

Look out for the positive interactions, those that support you to become the best version of you, and remembering it is a two way street, equally that you support those that mean something to you, to become the best version of them.

Life and its connections always ought to be about give and take in equal measure, not take, take, take, that is an imbalance that both parties can do without.

Sometimes the lessons or the blessings come to realisation later on, but most of all let your soul guide you as to who feels “right”  who feels a right fit, you cannot go wrong with that inner gut antennae that speaks volumes as it either feels good, or feels uncomfortable in its gnawing truth.

Thank all those that have been a blessing, never forgetting a moment of gratitude for all of the lessons and the blessings, in whichever way they come.

Have a great week ahead,

With love & light, Susan xxxx

 

Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching 29258579_640976379573874_8486568649174286336_o10277005_701498216574361_3112295131616827545_n

 

The energy of the “2”

Good Morning, Happy Summer Solstice,

The sun is shining, beaming and I feel that for many of us, its presence will lift up our energy.  The elements can do that can’t they!

Well today’s energy in terms of the date is a fabulous “2” in its duality, it denotes a sense of togetherness, working together, feminine in its principled energy, the letters B.K.T mean something, in its element its Yin.  The colours associated which are good for today are Orange, Salmon, Peach, Gold.

The stone associated is Moonstone.  The Tarot Card related is the High Priestess, oh my your intuition is going to feel high, high today, trust it, it has something to tell you.

I share with you today’s live video relating which has been shared on my facebook business page, Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching

https://www.facebook.com/susanlawrencesoulcoaching/ join me.

 

Have a blessed and beautiful start of the Summer Solstice.

In love & Light Susan xxinstaquote-21-06-2018-10-25-55 (1)photo-1495653797063-114787b77b23

Time is a Healer! The Gift of Time

Every day is unique in its unfolding.
They say that time is a healer, you cannot place time on any healing that needs to take place, for it is like layers of an onion, each layer that sheds gives rise to an emergence of another layer to be healed.
The severity of the trauma or the experience will always be a unique one to each individual, I do admire those that appear to have the ability to dust themselves off, like flour on their clothes, dust, dust, then its gone, but is it really though? hmmmm I do wonder, for humans have the capacity to compartmentalize their stored experiences of hurt and pain in a tight lidded box, to be open again at ones choosing and peril, or when they are triggered and they have no choice but to look the hurt in the eye and say yes, I am ready now to deal with it. aaron-burden-622662-unsplash.jpg
In this though this only prolongs the healing that needs to take place, compounds it, one thing that we can do in this beautiful unfolding of “Life” is enjoy each day, live it, experience it, whilst we still give ourselves permission to be in this timeframe of NOW!!
Time is a healer, it isn’t finite, we cannot say I will feel better today, tomorrow, next week, next month or next year, it truly is a unique thing, the capacity to be able to still function though whilst one gives themselves time to heal what their soul as asking to be healed is the capacity to enjoy each day in its unfolding, to find the joy in each day.
I know from experience that behind every smile there are an ocean of tears, indeed though, this does not mean for one moment that there isn’t the capacity to laugh, giggle even though somehow, somewhere you may be hurting inside, for the gift of time, wisdom and experience is the blessings of being able to function and still get on and move away for just a moment from the pain.
Not forgetting though for those that struggle, sometimes the struggle is just too real, sometimes the transformation from pain to joy seems just a little to long a way for them, never judge, for how can we, when we are not walking a mile in their shoes, we may be able to understand the pain, but everyone will have their own unique strategies, coping mechanisms and ways of dealing with it, there is no right or wrong.
Remembering that as John Holt says, Time Is The Master!!
Remembering that Tears are the Liquid Emotions That The Heart Cannot Express!!
No judgement please for Time is a healer in all things.
With Light and Love, Susan xxxxx

The Circle Of Life!

Today I had a moment to reflect and feel amazed at having 3 Adult children, I feel amazed at how quickly time flies, how it goes and the memories all role into a ball ready for moments to be recalled.

I remember each of their Births like yesterday, the feelings, the joy, the sad reflective moments, the pure joy at holding my little bundle in my arms, and how proud I feel as I stand back and think, I am so very proud of you all.

The circle of life is always present and evident in every day life, in the Seasons, the Weather, things are born and things die, life can be like this with cycles and seasons too, so too can our own journey, in the cycles and situations that we experience, and it is okay, because what I have learnt over the years is this, nothing stays the same forever, everything is temporary for the period of time it needs to be that way, until the change and evolution of growth through a situation, event or circumstance.  Sometimes we place pressure on ourselves, with that inner dialogue that takes place, I should be this, I should be that by now, but everything has its time, everything has its place, and everything has its season.

For the real tragedy of life is not death, but what we allow to die inside of us while we live.

The true testimony is Rising from life’s tragedies and still standing when you feel like you have nothing left, when you are going through it, it doesn’t feel like you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, but later on, upon reflection you can feel immensely proud of yourself for discovering you had so much inner strength to get through.

Find the joy in between life’s challenges to find a balance and you can’t go wrong.

With love & light, Susan xxx

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 17/04/2018

Good evening, good evening,

I hope you have had a great Tuesday and it has left you feeling that you have accomplished something, made a difference in some way, or simply enjoyed just being in the 20180417_175314.jpgmoment.

Today for me has felt productive and blessed in its unfolding, I am grateful for that.

Today’s message is quite sweet actually and funny, it talks of authenticity and being authentic in your truth is one of the most purest, honest acts of love there is, why because when you allow yourself to be and feel authentic you actually others to be and feel the same, plus it comes from a place of truth and that is a pure and honest place of the heart.

So today’s message is simply about being in your authentic truth and owning it, accepting it and allowing it.

Being vulnerable is not a weakness but a strength.

We are sometimes conditioned not to show too much because we may appear weak, but when you allow yourself to be who you are in any given moment, you are actually honouring your soul and that is a beautiful thing.

Confidence is sexy, being authentic is sexy and being honest is sexy, go on allow your sexy self to SHINE.

In love & Light, Susan xxx

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 15/04/2018

Good Afternoon,

Happy Sunday, I hope you are having a great Sunday.  It is nice to finally see a little bit of sunshine coming forth, we so need this, it has felt like a long winter.

Times are a little bit challenging at the moment with the conflict going on with Syria.  Today’s card has peaceful connotations and we can all do with finding a little inner peace where we can.

When we trust the Universe to have our back we go with the natural flow of things and the natural order of things, there is a sense of trust and there is a sense of not trying to control anything, just an inner knowing that what is meant for you, will reveal itself and finds its way.  Yes to a degree we have to plan, we have to control some aspects of our lives, but it isn’t possible to control everything, and its a good job I say, can you imagine what it would feel like to continuously be trying to control everything, how much pressure that would put on ourselves.

So today’s card talks about alignment, being in alignment with the love of the Universe, and that when we are in alignment with it, our peace simply cannot be disrupted because we are constantly in a state of trust, a state of mind of just allowing things to naturally unfold and that frees us up to utilise energy of worry, anxiety or control to be used in a constructive way. Positive, don’t you think?

So today’s message is as below:-20180415_163649 (1).jpg

Always trust some of the things that you feel are out of your control that if it is for your greatest and highest good, to your greatest and highest vibration then it will manifest and if it isn’t to be part of your soul call, it naturally won’t materialise.  Oh and remember, a key point to consider is this, “A No Is Not A Rejection, but simply a Cosmic Redirection”

In Love & Light Susan xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moon is in Pisces today – Your Moon Sign and the sign it is in, is your emotional self!

I do like to look at the rhythm of the Moon, in terms of it being a Full Moon, New Moon, it is possible to live flowing with the cycle of the moon and what this pertains.  Did you know that the sign that the Moon was in at the time of your birth is indicative of how you respond emotionally to life and its events?

I have Pisces as my Moon sign and it also ties in with my other Astrological placings with Cancer in Venus in my 8th House, Mars in Cancer in the 8th House, Neptune in Scorpio in my 12th House, so there is a great deal of watery emotions that go on.

In the theme as of our Sun sign there is the lower vibration and frequency that we may operate and the higher vibration frequency that we may be working towards.  In particular when operating from ones lower frequency, (not quite actualised and realised ones full spiritual potential) the Pisces Moon sign may seek approval from others, there may be an aspect of seeing the world at large with rose coloured tinted glasses and getting lost in ones own world of escapism, a healthy dose of escapism isn’t a bad thing, we all need that little place of retreat that we can go to, to feel a sense of safety and protection.

When operating from ones highest vibration, there is the capacity to take full responsibility for ones own life without a desire, or need for the approval from others and to support others through healing in supporting them on how to heal their own inner demons, and negative thought patterns.  How one does this is by the realization of other points of view and accepting these.   There is a tendency for the Pisces Moon sign to continuously seek perfection, which in actualization does not exist and is just a figment of ones illusion and perception of how things ought to be.

Past Lives 

Did you know that if you have Pisces in your makeup whether it be in your Moon sign or Sun sign there has been an element of having a previous incarnation in the priesthood, monastery or convent and your natural default mechanism is to shut yourself off when things feel far to overwhelming or too much, too much stimulus can have your running for the hills and hiding yourself away to escape.  You see Pisces are sensitive feeling souls with exceptionally sensitive and high intuition which pick up the unspoken messages that others convey, there is a sense of knowing exactly what is being shown even if it is not verbalised and expressed vocally.  You can expect a Pisces to have a real sense of knowing what you are feeling and when you are feeling it.  There has in a previous incarnation a result of being “looked after” so that this in this lifetime you will have to work exceptionally hard and achieve results by yourself.  This will feel frustrating and hard at times, but it is as a result of being supported to a high degree so that in this lifetime it is payback, karma time for you to give back.  Nothing does come easy for you, it is very hard work, there will be times where you may feel that you are fighting a continuous battle.  If you feel super sensitive today and your intuition is heightened today, then this may help you understand why.

Trust your gut, it speaks volumes and conveys messages for you to process for a reason, and remember if in doubt, leave it out, if it feels okay then continue.

In love and lunar light Susan xxxxinstaquote-11-04-2018-04-30-45.png

 

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message – 10/04/2018

Good Morning, Good Morning, Good Morning,

Happy Tuesday, may your Tuesday be awesome!

We are wonderful Spirits having human experiences which come in many forms and in many ways, oh the learning that ensues with such experiences are vast, are wide and we learn all of the time, we are constantly evolving, which is a good thing, can you imagine if we did not allow ourselves to evolve how stuck we would be?

Today’s message is an interesting one, it states ” I am a spirit having a human experience and I’m here to get closer to love” what does that actually mean, well….. getting closer to Love is being able to view life and its experiences in the eyes of Love, how you may ask? I have found viewing it from a lens that our experiences are sent to teach us and that if we can let go of any victim mentality that life has done us wrong, people have done us wrong, and view each and every experience, person, situation or event in the eyes of “Teaching” we do ourselves a far better service on healing our hearts.

When we align ourselves with the power and wisdom of coming at things through loving eyes life feels and becomes much more bearable.  Life doesn’t happen for us, life happens and it is as a result and a culmination of situations, events, circumstances, experiences that we either rise up into our highest vibration of our truth, or we go down a slipper spiral into our lower vibration.  Acknowledging both is equally important, but the truth is how far we stay down, how long for and whether we continue to allow it.

So remember Life happens to us, not for us, and we are the captains of our ship and we have a choice as to how we set the sail, keep ploughing through those choppy waters, you will be sure to get to the smoother waters in time.

Get closer to LOVE, get closer to your heart and allow yourself to get closer to your Truth.

In love & Light, Susan xxx20180410_081301.jpg

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 09/04/2018

Good Evening,

How has your day been today, I awoke today feeling uber sensitive, perhaps it is because I am fending off a heavy cold and have been feeling a little bit out of sorts, desperately trying to continue doing what needs to be done, ever get those moments where you just feel yucky?

Sensitive, insecurities popping up to feel heard, concerns, worries, yes I have those human thoughts too.

Today’s card has me in mind of Carl Jung’s Shadow Self and his work, I do find his work interesting and quite fascinating, its depth, its terminology and its meaning, I relate the term Shadow Self here

Shadow: Hidden or unconscious aspects of oneself which the ego has either repressed or never recognized.  I do think that in order to do any type of healing work it is essential to touch base with core aspects of our shadow self, this is not always an easy thing to do, as sometimes going back to some earlier experiences can reinforce the trauma experienced, but I do believe that in order to heal one must allow oneself to feel with guidance.

Today’s card relates to two polar opposites darkness and light, it is ironic as I am so aware of these feelings within myself today and have allowed myself to feel what I am feeling with an understanding that whatever it is that my subconscious self is trying to reveal to me, it will do so in its rightful timing.

So today I ask you what are you aware of within yourself that is rippling from your subconscious?

Today’s message is this, what is it you fear? what is it that I fear? what is feared? and how can it be transmuted through the energy of love, well I did take myself out of my comfort zone today, doing so is always a positive thing as it means one is challenging oneself, so if you do identify with something that is making you feel a little bit wobbly and you identify it as “Fear” challenge it, face it and then allow it to flow and move through you.  You got this, quite often what we fear is imagined anyway and blown up in our minds and the actual thought of it is far worse.

I am not going to say stay positive, because I do feel that is a clique, you cannot tell someone to stay positive when they are having thoughts and feelings, but you can support them to identify with what they are feeling, process it, acknowledge it, validate it and then work with a choice on how to move past it, that right there is the gift.

Stay true to your feeling self, knowing that you have the power within you to make a choice whether you allow something to define you or not.

In love & Light Susan xx

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