An Interdependent Relationship is the healthiest way v co-dependency, learning the art of detachment in relationships.

Relationships, the most sought after thing, yet for many, including myself can feel illusive, why is that, well here is my learning, until we get healthy with ourselves and weed out negative behaviour patterns and negative conditioning, we simply cannot be healthy with another, this is not to say for one moment, that one ought to take full responsibility for the demise of a relationship in its totality, but an understanding of how you played a part in that demise and what part you played.

You simply cannot expect to make another accountable if they choose not to be aware, or simply acknowledge in communication with you, their part, or even validate any hurt their actions may have fostered.

You see pain, in particular in relationships, I believe are one of our greatest Teachers, and greatest assets to be able to force us to grow and come out of our conditioned comfort zone.

Many will say how the hell can you give advice on relationships when you are not in one? well here is the thing, if you are a person who does reflect and does look in the mirror you can glean a lot from what hasn’t worked, what things you have done, what things you haven’t done and you can take this lessons forward, there is no greater lesson than that what is deemed as failure both from your own inner critic and from an observational view of the lens.

I have come to learn that the reason why the very thing that you may truly desire from your soul and heart eludes you, is because perhaps you have been eluding yourself? quite often the focus on “other” is a mechanism to deflect you from looking at yourself, it is easy to get into a situation whereby it’s always the other persons fault, but that is just proportioning blame, which serves no purpose, that is just a justification to take no responsibility for being part of that journey.

You see my learning is that when you love deeply there can be acts of imbalance in that you give all of yourself, sometimes at times at the expense of “other” when in actual fact, the gift is to learn interdependence, keep a level of individuality and a level of interdependence in equal measure.  Having been part of unhealthy relationships, I now get to witness so much earlier on, the red flags of where a situation could become co-dependent, that is not love, that is enabling, that is control, and love is not about control.

Love needs to be given a space to be free, to flourish, to grow, to emerge in its floral design, so that both emerge and grow to their highest and greatest potential.  One of the healthiest relationships is where honest, truthful and connected, present communication exists, where there is absolutely no fear or judgement in being able to express your true, honest and authentic self.

The gift of loving unconditionally without expectation is the gift of detachment, for when you get to a place where there is no expectation of an outcome, there is no need, nor desire to “fix” other, but to focus on fixing, YOU, that is the gift of a healthy relationship.

In today’s society there are a great deal of unhealthy relationships, I know this from a wisdom perspective, and knowledge as being part of a group, observation and reading.

Unhealthy relationship patterns can be learnt from an early age, even from the perspective of what appears on the outside, a very healthy relationship to co-dependency and enabling patterns that take place in the home.

When you can get to a place where you can safely allow your souls true authentic self to shine, express itself without fear or judgement, and the same for other, then that right there is a healthy balance.

Love is not control, loves needs space to be able to express its truth, not all flowers and rose tinted glasses all of the time, but the moments of emotions that may not feel very comfortable, when you get to a place where you can connect with someone and you show all facets of your character and personality and there is nothing hidden, and both of you are able to hold each other in those moments by being emotionally present and available, that is a healthy relationship.

If you feel the need to “fix” make excuses, dum down who you are, or suppress your emotions or who you are that is control, that isn’t healthy.  The importance of honest communication is also about allowing yourself to vocalise your feelings without fear this helps the relationship grow because you are showing your vulnerability, and it is only when we truly drop our guard, show our vulnerability that we can truly have an honest loving relationship and remember, just because you behave in a particular way, it does not mean expecting other to be the same, because that right there is one of the situations that will set you up for a fall.  Most of us do have an expectation of how we perceive things should be, but in the love stakes, usually it turns out to be completely different, that is because we had an expectation.

Love is a gift when it is allowed to grow and flow.

In love & light, Susan. xxx

(c) Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching.PortraitSoulPic

 

We all play a part in each others soul’s growth!

Good Morning, Happy Monday, blessings for a beautiful week ahead.

There are some moments where my reflective processing feels deeper than others, but there is nothing more that I love than a good laugh!!  Ever had those moments where you connect with some loved ones, friends and the laughter just roles.

This morning has me thinking about the roles we all play, I firmly believe that our connections either bring out the best, or the worst.  That the long connections, brief connections, short connections, all play a part in the interconnections of our souls journey.  I believe that people come into our lives either a lesson or a blessing.

The truth is the process of elimination & discernment to discover which, at times through the journey of these processes in takes time for revelations to reveal themselves, what comes after dark, always comes to light.

Make sure though that those that are present and who have shown up you appreciate them, please do let them know that they matter, that they feel important to your heart and your soul, for there is nothing sweeter than feeling acknowledged, validated, and noticed from that loving space of appreciation, who doesn’t like to feel appreciated? validated and acknowledged.

Look out for the positive interactions, those that support you to become the best version of you, and remembering it is a two way street, equally that you support those that mean something to you, to become the best version of them.

Life and its connections always ought to be about give and take in equal measure, not take, take, take, that is an imbalance that both parties can do without.

Sometimes the lessons or the blessings come to realisation later on, but most of all let your soul guide you as to who feels “right”  who feels a right fit, you cannot go wrong with that inner gut antennae that speaks volumes as it either feels good, or feels uncomfortable in its gnawing truth.

Thank all those that have been a blessing, never forgetting a moment of gratitude for all of the lessons and the blessings, in whichever way they come.

Have a great week ahead,

With love & light, Susan xxxx

 

Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching 29258579_640976379573874_8486568649174286336_o10277005_701498216574361_3112295131616827545_n

 

Allow your soul to go where it feels celebrated!

Happy Sunday lunar time,

I have not long returned home from a jaunt in Manchester.  What has really struck a chord with me is how beautiful it can be to get away and have a change of scenery.  I have been feeling of late it is all work, work, work and very little change, so I set about creating the change I desired and went away for the weekend to a music event where I could set my soul free through dance and music, so freeing, so liberating and so regenerative.

You see when you become mindful of your life its content, its workings both from an inner and outer perspective you do recognize what needs to be shifted, I did.  Right now as I write I am listening to 432 Hz Binaural Beats music and it is really doing wonders for my soul.

You see you can too be the change you desire, where do you see an imbalance in your life? what do you feel isn’t quite working? feeling quite right? sitting quite right? what do you feel you can do to change that?

Reflect!!

It struck a chord with me that we can go anywhere where our soul feels celebrated, you see our soul family come in many shapes and forms, earth angels, spiritual angels, spirit guides, ancestors, work colleague, intimate relationships, siblings, children, friends, it is important to allow your soul to direct you to where you feel most celebrated, there is nothing more powerful than feeling a sense of oneness with another, despite the resistance, we all do crave this, its human, it a necessary component of feeling a sense of belonging.  Whilst at the same time, if you have gotten to a stage of feeling comfortable with your aloneness, this sets you in a good place.  A healthy place, a place where that interdependence is not born out of need but a simple desire, the two are intrinsically different.

Be thankful the moments where you feel at one with another, or others for that too is a gift, when you feel a sense of acceptance, when you feel a sense of joy, a sense of love, and a sense of just being able to be you, how beautifully soul powerful is that.

So please do become aware of where your soul feels celebrated, it saves you wasting precious energy on connections that are not good for your soul and vice versa.

Go where you feel celebrated, for this too is a gift.

In love & light, Susan xxxx

(photo credit Le-Kiet) le-kiet-384971-unsplash.jpg

The Circle Of Life!

Today I had a moment to reflect and feel amazed at having 3 Adult children, I feel amazed at how quickly time flies, how it goes and the memories all role into a ball ready for moments to be recalled.

I remember each of their Births like yesterday, the feelings, the joy, the sad reflective moments, the pure joy at holding my little bundle in my arms, and how proud I feel as I stand back and think, I am so very proud of you all.

The circle of life is always present and evident in every day life, in the Seasons, the Weather, things are born and things die, life can be like this with cycles and seasons too, so too can our own journey, in the cycles and situations that we experience, and it is okay, because what I have learnt over the years is this, nothing stays the same forever, everything is temporary for the period of time it needs to be that way, until the change and evolution of growth through a situation, event or circumstance.  Sometimes we place pressure on ourselves, with that inner dialogue that takes place, I should be this, I should be that by now, but everything has its time, everything has its place, and everything has its season.

For the real tragedy of life is not death, but what we allow to die inside of us while we live.

The true testimony is Rising from life’s tragedies and still standing when you feel like you have nothing left, when you are going through it, it doesn’t feel like you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, but later on, upon reflection you can feel immensely proud of yourself for discovering you had so much inner strength to get through.

Find the joy in between life’s challenges to find a balance and you can’t go wrong.

With love & light, Susan xxx

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 17/04/2018

Good evening, good evening,

I hope you have had a great Tuesday and it has left you feeling that you have accomplished something, made a difference in some way, or simply enjoyed just being in the 20180417_175314.jpgmoment.

Today for me has felt productive and blessed in its unfolding, I am grateful for that.

Today’s message is quite sweet actually and funny, it talks of authenticity and being authentic in your truth is one of the most purest, honest acts of love there is, why because when you allow yourself to be and feel authentic you actually others to be and feel the same, plus it comes from a place of truth and that is a pure and honest place of the heart.

So today’s message is simply about being in your authentic truth and owning it, accepting it and allowing it.

Being vulnerable is not a weakness but a strength.

We are sometimes conditioned not to show too much because we may appear weak, but when you allow yourself to be who you are in any given moment, you are actually honouring your soul and that is a beautiful thing.

Confidence is sexy, being authentic is sexy and being honest is sexy, go on allow your sexy self to SHINE.

In love & Light, Susan xxx

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 16/04/2018

Good evening,

late today with my posting its been a full on day!

How has your day been?

Anyway Happy Monday, many blessings and I do hope that it has been productive, enjoyable and you feel that you have achieved something today.

Today’s message is about accepting “Love” from the Universe as your primary teacher.

You see when we allow ourselves to trust the Universe and its guidance and there being a sense of what you need to go through is for your greatest and highest vibration of soul growth, this is accepted then along comes the feeling of being at peace and not fighting the natural flow of life that we have to experience in order for us to be moved to the next level of soul growth.

Anxiety, depression, fear, worry are all factors that will make this process harder to be able to cope with, and a need to know, a need to be in control, but there are times in our lives that we simply cannot be in control all of the time, that I feel is a good thing, to be in control all of the time is a heavy cross to bear with pressure to conform to juggling many thoughts, emotions, feelings that arise as a result of trying to keep it together, you can lessen your stress, anxiety and low mood by learning to trust that what is meant will certainly reveal itself, and what isn’t will not manifest, there won’t be any loss, you may feel a sense of loss as a result of an expectation of an outcome, this usually perpetuates anxiety, fear and all of the feelings, emotions associated.  Whereas if you allow yourself to just first of trust yourself, then secondly trust that the Universe or whatever you aspire too, God, Buddha, Angels, Spirit, Ancestors, those that have passed, really do have a say in what is going on around you, more than you realise, there is guidance to be found even when we do not think so.  So allow yourself to TRUST.

So today’s message is beautiful in its unfolding, in its truth and it is right for you, as it has come up for a reason.

Have a blessed night, I hope that you feel rejuvenated tomorrow and focus on all the positives, stay awesome, stay you, and trust.

In love & Light, Susan xx20180416_200213.jpg

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 14/04/2018

Good Afternoon,

Oh may what a beautiful day, we have waited for some long awaited Sun and Vitamin D, and today’s message actually ties in with finding joy, so one can truly see that the energy is increasing and intensifying in a different way, especially today as at 3.25am the moon went into the sign of Aries, fiery, dynamic, warrior spirit.

So where are you creating your mindful moments? and how? I hope that you are, because it is all too easy to get oneself into a rut of work, home-life responsibilities and all things adult, it is important that we find time to play, today I did, I put some music on whilst I was doing some stuff at home and danced my feet off, oh how I do love to abandon my spirit to the beat of music, in particular to the beat of my own rhythm and my own soul, wanton spirit LOL, I make no apology.

So today as the moon enters the fiery sign of Aries and Sun is shining it looks like it is ushering new spring energy which is also associated with new beginnings, do take time to be creative, to allow your inner child a chance to find joy and to create special moments that uplift your mind, body and spirit.

Have a super Saturday, in love and beautiful Sunlight, Susan xxx20180414_151717.jpgimg1455829944616

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message – 12/04/2018

Good Morning, Good Morning, Good Morning,

Happy Thursday in its unfolding, today’s message relates to getting closer to consciousness, what is consciousness you may ask? consciousness is this, (source Wikipedia) Consciousness is the state or quality of awareness, or, of being aware of an external object or something within oneself.[1][2] It has been defined variously in terms of sentience, awareness, qualia, subjectivity, the ability to experience or to feel, wakefulness, having a sense of selfhood or soul, the fact that there is something “that it is like” to “have” or “be” it, and the executive control system of the mind.[3] In contemporary philosophy its definition is often hinted at via the logical possibility of its absence, the philosophical zombie, which is defined as a being whose behaviour and function are identical to one’s own yet there is “no-one in there” experiencing it. I felt it the best way to define it in more detail.

Today’s card relates to you doing whatever it takes to get you closer to that feeling of consciousness, some relate consciousness as getting closer to “Source” to “God” to whatever you believe in.  You see we also have our conscious thoughts and minds, and the polarity to this is our subconscious mind, sometimes there can be conflict between the two talking a different language.  To be conscious is to be “Aware” “Awake” and having a sense of mindfulness and knowing what you are doing.  Sometimes when you have an intent of doing something and the outcome is different, this may be as a result of conflict between ones conscious thoughts and ones subconscious behaviours.

Interesting eh? Oh yes, I think so too.   So today’s message is asking you to do whatever it takes to bring you closer to consciousness, only you will know how and the way in which this needs to be addressed.

Have a blessed and beautiful Thursday, in Love & Light Susan xxxx20180412_102543.jpg

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message – 10/04/2018

Good Morning, Good Morning, Good Morning,

Happy Tuesday, may your Tuesday be awesome!

We are wonderful Spirits having human experiences which come in many forms and in many ways, oh the learning that ensues with such experiences are vast, are wide and we learn all of the time, we are constantly evolving, which is a good thing, can you imagine if we did not allow ourselves to evolve how stuck we would be?

Today’s message is an interesting one, it states ” I am a spirit having a human experience and I’m here to get closer to love” what does that actually mean, well….. getting closer to Love is being able to view life and its experiences in the eyes of Love, how you may ask? I have found viewing it from a lens that our experiences are sent to teach us and that if we can let go of any victim mentality that life has done us wrong, people have done us wrong, and view each and every experience, person, situation or event in the eyes of “Teaching” we do ourselves a far better service on healing our hearts.

When we align ourselves with the power and wisdom of coming at things through loving eyes life feels and becomes much more bearable.  Life doesn’t happen for us, life happens and it is as a result and a culmination of situations, events, circumstances, experiences that we either rise up into our highest vibration of our truth, or we go down a slipper spiral into our lower vibration.  Acknowledging both is equally important, but the truth is how far we stay down, how long for and whether we continue to allow it.

So remember Life happens to us, not for us, and we are the captains of our ship and we have a choice as to how we set the sail, keep ploughing through those choppy waters, you will be sure to get to the smoother waters in time.

Get closer to LOVE, get closer to your heart and allow yourself to get closer to your Truth.

In love & Light, Susan xxx20180410_081301.jpg