Another cycle ends – transformation and connecting with my feelings associated.

#It’s an inside journey#

It seems lately there is less time to write as much as I used to be able too.  I find myself feeling emotional today, as I am coming to an end of another cycle, what is it about endings that evoke so much emotion, even knowing that every ending is going to open a new doorway.  An example I can think of, is this, ending a relationship that is negative, dysfunctional and has evoked negative emotions associated, one would imagine that one would feel “Happy” and yet the feelings that arise, are feelings of loss, and then there is the cycle of emotions that give rise to grieving.  This is an example to understand.

I say goodbye this week to a role that has come to completion for 2 years, it has been an experience of both positive and negative, positive because of the connections made, the laughter, the giggles, connecting with new people, being able to be a listening ear to those that have needed it, even being a listening ear to those who have projected their anger, because of the space that they were in at the time.  The negative the demands on the physical and emotional body.  I feel it is now time to close that door and say “Goodbye and “Thank you” for the journey, the experience, the highs and the lows.  But isn’t it amazing how closing doors, brings you closer to your emotions of loss, from previous doors that you have closed, or in some cases, closed because you had no choice, because closure may not have been completely possible.

I have just finished today, my 2nd job for the week, this will end next month, it is time for a new chapter, new beginnings, and even knowing that this will usher in new growth, I cannot help but feel a tinge of emotions, like awww, it feels a little sad, it has reminded me of other losses.  You see my viewpoint is this, that in this life, this fast paced western world we are so very busy pressing on, not giving ourselves time to process our emotions, our feelings associated with whatever we may be experiencing that we can if not careful walk around like we are “dead” emotionless, unfeeling, detached from our inner core emotions, and that in my mind is not good for the Mind, Body nor the Spirit.

I understand for many a feeling person who is in touch with their emotions, can feel too intense for many who choose to lock their emotions away, detach from them, store them in a box, never to open Pandora’s box until “Spirit” or the “Universe” decide to give you a situation or scenario, whereby you have to revisit, can you imagine for a moment that had you have had the courage, foresight and strength to initially allow yourself to tap into your emotions for each given situation, circumstance or event at that moment in time, what you would have been saving yourself from re-visiting later? Its true so much we would have saved ourselves if we had the courage to deal with it “NOW”

So today, I am feeling a little full of mixed emotions as I say goodbye to one chapter this month, then another chapter next month, when for the last 3 years I have been struggling with coming to terms and accepting a real big chapter and cycle in my life that was to be my biggest challenge emotionally yet, confronting, the face of what felt like “Death” “Loss” “Rejection” and feeling unworthy.

I have worked hard to claw my way back up from the very bottomless pit of the rabbit hole, and believe you me, there are moments when there is a trigger such as a loss, or a transition, that sets me back briefly, just momentarily to remembering where I have come from and where I have been.

Today, has felt a deeply moving day emotionally, the past 4 years have been hard as I have been working on my business this business and in the moments of healing, working with depression, counselling, past life regression to look at patterns that I may have been repeating, and allowing myself to be defined by how others have chosen to treat me, and what I have allowed in that process, has been deep.  So now couple with the wisdom of a mother who has raised 3 children to adulthood, who has experienced, many deaths, many failures, many rejections, many challenges, I can honestly say that as I sit back I can actually say, Susan, you really ought to be proud of yourself.

You see the greatest Teacher that we have is not Education, is not text book theories, no ideologies, not philosophies, but simply “Life experiences” and the pain associated with such.  Along with life experiences, pain is our greatest Teacher, for in this we are confronted with our weaknesses, confronted with our strengths, with our boundaries, with what we will accept and what we won’t and we are too faced with our vulnerabilities, we are stripped away of all ego facets of our soul and character and then once the unveiling takes place, we are confronted with a fresh new childlike new beginning on which to transmute all of the learning that has been gleaned from the whole journey;

I am proud to say that I am now much more accepting, comfortable with loss and transformation than I have ever been, even allowing myself to visit the emotions associated with the changes that take place.  Today I was given some feedback on my Group that I run on Facebook, and to me it was one of my most powerful messages that I have received, for believe me in the moments that I have doubted myself, in that journey of allowing myself to be defined by what I felt was a rejection of me, and a rejection of me not being good enough, I received affirmation and confirmation that the whole ethos of my Group Spiritual Reflections & Thoughts.  The Journey that it is successful and it does make a difference, and believe you me in the moments when I doubted myself, my souls call and who I was, who I am, I nearly called the whole lot in.  I tried a few times, but was told by Facebook that the page was of value to its followers and they would not let me close it, this coupled with today’s message has indicated to me that I am a powerful, strong woman who has been to hell and back and has risen.  As in the voice of Maya Angelou, I share a symbolism of who I can identify with,

Still I Rise

Maya Angelou1928 – 2014

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

From And Still I Rise by Maya Angelou. Copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou. Reprinted by permission of Random House, Inc.

My spirit got broken, but not my essence, that can never be taken away for it sits in the well of my soul and comes to my aid in real times of need.

 

“And Still I Rise” and in doing so I have learnt so much about me, and what I am capable of.  Thank you for the lessons, that have enable to me to view them in the mirror of

reflection. photo-1438762398043-ac196c2fa1e7

 

Susan Lawrence

Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching.

The Circle Of Life!

Today I had a moment to reflect and feel amazed at having 3 Adult children, I feel amazed at how quickly time flies, how it goes and the memories all role into a ball ready for moments to be recalled.

I remember each of their Births like yesterday, the feelings, the joy, the sad reflective moments, the pure joy at holding my little bundle in my arms, and how proud I feel as I stand back and think, I am so very proud of you all.

The circle of life is always present and evident in every day life, in the Seasons, the Weather, things are born and things die, life can be like this with cycles and seasons too, so too can our own journey, in the cycles and situations that we experience, and it is okay, because what I have learnt over the years is this, nothing stays the same forever, everything is temporary for the period of time it needs to be that way, until the change and evolution of growth through a situation, event or circumstance.  Sometimes we place pressure on ourselves, with that inner dialogue that takes place, I should be this, I should be that by now, but everything has its time, everything has its place, and everything has its season.

For the real tragedy of life is not death, but what we allow to die inside of us while we live.

The true testimony is Rising from life’s tragedies and still standing when you feel like you have nothing left, when you are going through it, it doesn’t feel like you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, but later on, upon reflection you can feel immensely proud of yourself for discovering you had so much inner strength to get through.

Find the joy in between life’s challenges to find a balance and you can’t go wrong.

With love & light, Susan xxx

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message 11/04/2018

Uh oh! its 03.20 am in the Morning and I am awake, after going to sleep early because I thought let me get some rest and an early night, early sleep, early rising, so to speak, ones sleep pattern can be awry and all over the place, occasionally, never mind.

How are you doing? Happy Wednesday, today’s message is a nice one, it relates to “Fun” I definitely feel of late all work and little play, the balance needs to be restored 🙂

It states in today’s card drawn, “The Universe Works Fast When I’m Having Fun”, how I decipher today’s message is this, when everything is in alignment and you are enjoying what you are doing, everything falls into place. Nice!! certainly a good one.

So if you are currently enjoying what you are doing, having fun with it, trust that the Universe will give you more of the same in alignment and everything will continue to fall in place, how gorgeous is that!

Wishing you a great Wednesday in all that you do today, continue in the theme of Joy, Fun and do it from a place of passion, love and joy 🙂 have a truly beautiful day, in love & light, Susan xxx20180411_031656.jpg

Today’s Universe Has Your Back Message – 04/04/2018

It’s been a couple of days since posting, coming down feeling crappy with a heavy cold, batteries need recharging, sometimes it is so needed, sometimes we do need to listen to the inner call of our body, soul and our mind, oh yes, one must.

I do hope that you have all had a great Easter filled with family love, joy, peace, rest and a sense of inner reflection and calm.

Today’s guidance is “My Faith Has The Power To Turn Trauma Into Healing,  Conflict Into Growth, and Fear Into Love” oh my, I can so relate to this one today, I truly can.  Ever get those moments where you feel conflicted from past trauma, or one feels triggered? or one feels a ripple of a memory, you see deep seated soul scars are like that, deep, profound, always there, never really going anywhere, but reminding you sometimes of their presence, and you know what its okay, it really is.

So today remind yourself that if you have experienced trauma that your faith, whatever you believe, you have the power to turn your trauma into healing yourself firstly, then you can transfer this into helping others, how magnificently powerful is that?

You can equally turn your conflict into growth and stepping stones to pave the way to a brighter, stronger and confident you, knowing that you have RISEN, like a Phoenix from her/his ashes and turned your fear into LOVE, go on, you so know that you can, you just got to truly believe in yourself, despite your doubts, fears, insecurities and your past experiences for they have afforded your growth in your current now and can pave the way to new skills, new awareness for a brighter and better future, with a new sense of eyes being opened in a different way.

With love & beautiful light Susan xxx20180404_230202 (2).jpg

What do you need to release this Full Moon 31/3/2018 – Second Blue Moon of 2018

There have been such a long of deep ripples in relation to energy which has felt dank, dark and heavy, we have just left Mercury Retrograde, that is always a trying time, usually when Mercury Retrograde is around it can be testing and trying times, plus there has been a big solar shift and on top of this, today a Full Moon, which is termed a blue moon, the moon won’t actually be blue, it is just termed as such.

Usually in the manner I post in my group and pages on Facebook “What do you need to release this Full Moon”? it is usually a time for letting go of that which you feel no longer serves your greatest and highest vibration for your soul, a reminder that nothing is ever “Good” or “Bad” it just is, things just have a way of coming to their natural end.  So if you find yourself in a situation that you have felt some ripples, reverberations that something isn’t right (it usually isn’t) then allow your intuition to guide you and go with that.

It simply means the Reason, Season and Time have been reached for that part of your soul journey, and that the Universe your souls calling is preparing you ready for your next chapter of soul growth, quite often there is a bit of resistance and it can feel like an inner tug of war with yourself, that is okay, go with it, things will settle, once you have had an opportunity to process your emotions around what you may be experiencing.

Sometimes there just needs to be a shift for renewal and sometimes we take some along with us, once a shift has taken place, sometimes we may need to let go, and sometimes we need to just trust the timing of the Universe.

So on that note, Happy Releasing, Happy Renewal for your soul to prepare for its next chapter, after all in we stay the same, growth doesn’t happen.

Growth simply cannot happen by staying the same, thank any lessons for their blessings and for giving you the opportunity to have had some new teaching.

Happy Lunar Release.

In Love & Light, Susan xxxxIMG_20180331_202913_29811241491_430514817122947_1670245204_n