An Interdependent Relationship is the healthiest way v co-dependency, learning the art of detachment in relationships.

Relationships, the most sought after thing, yet for many, including myself can feel illusive, why is that, well here is my learning, until we get healthy with ourselves and weed out negative behaviour patterns and negative conditioning, we simply cannot be healthy with another, this is not to say for one moment, that one ought to take full responsibility for the demise of a relationship in its totality, but an understanding of how you played a part in that demise and what part you played.

You simply cannot expect to make another accountable if they choose not to be aware, or simply acknowledge in communication with you, their part, or even validate any hurt their actions may have fostered.

You see pain, in particular in relationships, I believe are one of our greatest Teachers, and greatest assets to be able to force us to grow and come out of our conditioned comfort zone.

Many will say how the hell can you give advice on relationships when you are not in one? well here is the thing, if you are a person who does reflect and does look in the mirror you can glean a lot from what hasn’t worked, what things you have done, what things you haven’t done and you can take this lessons forward, there is no greater lesson than that what is deemed as failure both from your own inner critic and from an observational view of the lens.

I have come to learn that the reason why the very thing that you may truly desire from your soul and heart eludes you, is because perhaps you have been eluding yourself? quite often the focus on “other” is a mechanism to deflect you from looking at yourself, it is easy to get into a situation whereby it’s always the other persons fault, but that is just proportioning blame, which serves no purpose, that is just a justification to take no responsibility for being part of that journey.

You see my learning is that when you love deeply there can be acts of imbalance in that you give all of yourself, sometimes at times at the expense of “other” when in actual fact, the gift is to learn interdependence, keep a level of individuality and a level of interdependence in equal measure.  Having been part of unhealthy relationships, I now get to witness so much earlier on, the red flags of where a situation could become co-dependent, that is not love, that is enabling, that is control, and love is not about control.

Love needs to be given a space to be free, to flourish, to grow, to emerge in its floral design, so that both emerge and grow to their highest and greatest potential.  One of the healthiest relationships is where honest, truthful and connected, present communication exists, where there is absolutely no fear or judgement in being able to express your true, honest and authentic self.

The gift of loving unconditionally without expectation is the gift of detachment, for when you get to a place where there is no expectation of an outcome, there is no need, nor desire to “fix” other, but to focus on fixing, YOU, that is the gift of a healthy relationship.

In today’s society there are a great deal of unhealthy relationships, I know this from a wisdom perspective, and knowledge as being part of a group, observation and reading.

Unhealthy relationship patterns can be learnt from an early age, even from the perspective of what appears on the outside, a very healthy relationship to co-dependency and enabling patterns that take place in the home.

When you can get to a place where you can safely allow your souls true authentic self to shine, express itself without fear or judgement, and the same for other, then that right there is a healthy balance.

Love is not control, loves needs space to be able to express its truth, not all flowers and rose tinted glasses all of the time, but the moments of emotions that may not feel very comfortable, when you get to a place where you can connect with someone and you show all facets of your character and personality and there is nothing hidden, and both of you are able to hold each other in those moments by being emotionally present and available, that is a healthy relationship.

If you feel the need to “fix” make excuses, dum down who you are, or suppress your emotions or who you are that is control, that isn’t healthy.  The importance of honest communication is also about allowing yourself to vocalise your feelings without fear this helps the relationship grow because you are showing your vulnerability, and it is only when we truly drop our guard, show our vulnerability that we can truly have an honest loving relationship and remember, just because you behave in a particular way, it does not mean expecting other to be the same, because that right there is one of the situations that will set you up for a fall.  Most of us do have an expectation of how we perceive things should be, but in the love stakes, usually it turns out to be completely different, that is because we had an expectation.

Love is a gift when it is allowed to grow and flow.

In love & light, Susan. xxx

(c) Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching.PortraitSoulPic

 

Another cycle ends – transformation and connecting with my feelings associated.

#It’s an inside journey#

It seems lately there is less time to write as much as I used to be able too.  I find myself feeling emotional today, as I am coming to an end of another cycle, what is it about endings that evoke so much emotion, even knowing that every ending is going to open a new doorway.  An example I can think of, is this, ending a relationship that is negative, dysfunctional and has evoked negative emotions associated, one would imagine that one would feel “Happy” and yet the feelings that arise, are feelings of loss, and then there is the cycle of emotions that give rise to grieving.  This is an example to understand.

I say goodbye this week to a role that has come to completion for 2 years, it has been an experience of both positive and negative, positive because of the connections made, the laughter, the giggles, connecting with new people, being able to be a listening ear to those that have needed it, even being a listening ear to those who have projected their anger, because of the space that they were in at the time.  The negative the demands on the physical and emotional body.  I feel it is now time to close that door and say “Goodbye and “Thank you” for the journey, the experience, the highs and the lows.  But isn’t it amazing how closing doors, brings you closer to your emotions of loss, from previous doors that you have closed, or in some cases, closed because you had no choice, because closure may not have been completely possible.

I have just finished today, my 2nd job for the week, this will end next month, it is time for a new chapter, new beginnings, and even knowing that this will usher in new growth, I cannot help but feel a tinge of emotions, like awww, it feels a little sad, it has reminded me of other losses.  You see my viewpoint is this, that in this life, this fast paced western world we are so very busy pressing on, not giving ourselves time to process our emotions, our feelings associated with whatever we may be experiencing that we can if not careful walk around like we are “dead” emotionless, unfeeling, detached from our inner core emotions, and that in my mind is not good for the Mind, Body nor the Spirit.

I understand for many a feeling person who is in touch with their emotions, can feel too intense for many who choose to lock their emotions away, detach from them, store them in a box, never to open Pandora’s box until “Spirit” or the “Universe” decide to give you a situation or scenario, whereby you have to revisit, can you imagine for a moment that had you have had the courage, foresight and strength to initially allow yourself to tap into your emotions for each given situation, circumstance or event at that moment in time, what you would have been saving yourself from re-visiting later? Its true so much we would have saved ourselves if we had the courage to deal with it “NOW”

So today, I am feeling a little full of mixed emotions as I say goodbye to one chapter this month, then another chapter next month, when for the last 3 years I have been struggling with coming to terms and accepting a real big chapter and cycle in my life that was to be my biggest challenge emotionally yet, confronting, the face of what felt like “Death” “Loss” “Rejection” and feeling unworthy.

I have worked hard to claw my way back up from the very bottomless pit of the rabbit hole, and believe you me, there are moments when there is a trigger such as a loss, or a transition, that sets me back briefly, just momentarily to remembering where I have come from and where I have been.

Today, has felt a deeply moving day emotionally, the past 4 years have been hard as I have been working on my business this business and in the moments of healing, working with depression, counselling, past life regression to look at patterns that I may have been repeating, and allowing myself to be defined by how others have chosen to treat me, and what I have allowed in that process, has been deep.  So now couple with the wisdom of a mother who has raised 3 children to adulthood, who has experienced, many deaths, many failures, many rejections, many challenges, I can honestly say that as I sit back I can actually say, Susan, you really ought to be proud of yourself.

You see the greatest Teacher that we have is not Education, is not text book theories, no ideologies, not philosophies, but simply “Life experiences” and the pain associated with such.  Along with life experiences, pain is our greatest Teacher, for in this we are confronted with our weaknesses, confronted with our strengths, with our boundaries, with what we will accept and what we won’t and we are too faced with our vulnerabilities, we are stripped away of all ego facets of our soul and character and then once the unveiling takes place, we are confronted with a fresh new childlike new beginning on which to transmute all of the learning that has been gleaned from the whole journey;

I am proud to say that I am now much more accepting, comfortable with loss and transformation than I have ever been, even allowing myself to visit the emotions associated with the changes that take place.  Today I was given some feedback on my Group that I run on Facebook, and to me it was one of my most powerful messages that I have received, for believe me in the moments that I have doubted myself, in that journey of allowing myself to be defined by what I felt was a rejection of me, and a rejection of me not being good enough, I received affirmation and confirmation that the whole ethos of my Group Spiritual Reflections & Thoughts.  The Journey that it is successful and it does make a difference, and believe you me in the moments when I doubted myself, my souls call and who I was, who I am, I nearly called the whole lot in.  I tried a few times, but was told by Facebook that the page was of value to its followers and they would not let me close it, this coupled with today’s message has indicated to me that I am a powerful, strong woman who has been to hell and back and has risen.  As in the voice of Maya Angelou, I share a symbolism of who I can identify with,

Still I Rise

Maya Angelou1928 – 2014

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

From And Still I Rise by Maya Angelou. Copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou. Reprinted by permission of Random House, Inc.

My spirit got broken, but not my essence, that can never be taken away for it sits in the well of my soul and comes to my aid in real times of need.

 

“And Still I Rise” and in doing so I have learnt so much about me, and what I am capable of.  Thank you for the lessons, that have enable to me to view them in the mirror of

reflection. photo-1438762398043-ac196c2fa1e7

 

Susan Lawrence

Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching.

Today it is a Full Moon (Strawberry) what do you need to release? let go of that no longer serves you? 28/6/2018

Happy Full Moon Day,

Full Moon, what’s that all about? why is it important.  Well the Full Moon gives you an opportunity to do some positive things.

On a Full Moon you can release and let go of what is no longer serving your souls purpose.  The key objectives are

  • Setting your intent
  • Sending love to those in need, releasing who you need to with love
  • Meditate quietly on what it is you would like to manifest.
  • Envision yourself moving forward and releasing what isn’t working, has not been working and where you feel you have exhausted every avenue.
  • Get in touch with your emotions.
  • Letting go of an attitude, situation, circumstance, behaviour, thought which are negative in their energy, a reminder that what you think comes back.

The key principles are cleansing and regeneration and allowing your soul to be given the gift of renewal so that it supports your soul growth.

I will be doing a Full Moon Release gathering on my Facebook page tonight @ Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching, so today, the Sun is beaming which is the polar opposite of the moon, enjoy your manifestations, and remember always do your manifestations from a place of love and from the heart, oh and be careful what you wish for.

Happy Full Moon Release.

In love & light, Susan xx

Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching.

#fullmoon #spiritualrelease  #cleansing #renewal #soul

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The energy of the day 26/6/2018 “7” Quiet Reflection, Solitude, Seeking knowledge.

https://www.facebook.com/susanlawrencesoulcoaching/

“7” Intuition, Reflection, Truth Seeker, whether you have this number as your soul urge, life path number, destiny number, year number, month number, or day number you will have these qualities to name but a few, if you would like a reading and would like an insight into YOU, please get in touch. Video available on my Facebook page.

Intuition is the power that keeps you safe, it is the power that enables you to move forward when it feel right, and stay put when it feels unsafe, trust it always.

 

if anyone would like a personal reading please get in contact @ susanlawrencesoulcoaching@gmail.com

Stay blessed and listen to those “gut” feelings.

 

Blessings, Susan xx

 

The energy of the day 25/06/18

Feeling in a quiet introspective space today, usually do a video, so because of this need for quiet reflection today I decided on a plan B, on the quiet reflective times I shall tap into writing a blog.

The energy of the day has been a number vibration “6”  this means that the timing of the 6 is a slow and deliberate pace, slow and steady wins the race.

If you have a life path number of a 6, or you have a 6 in your calculation of your birth date then you will be responsible, and comforting as an individual.   The 6 is a natural counsellor, it relates to the Astrological sign of Cancer, relates to the Lovers Card in the Tarot which often means a choice, it can also denote a choice between 2 lovers, or a new love interest and balance in relationships.

The letters associated are F, O, X, the polarity is Yin (feminine) the colours are Royal Blue, Indigo.

The 6 also relates to family and ensuring that you nurture your family through duty and balance.  It may also associate with humanitarian activities today.

I hope that you have a great 6 day, and that all is as it ought to be, in accordance with the energy and the vibration of your soul.

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With love & light, Susan xxx

 

 

We all play a part in each others soul’s growth!

Good Morning, Happy Monday, blessings for a beautiful week ahead.

There are some moments where my reflective processing feels deeper than others, but there is nothing more that I love than a good laugh!!  Ever had those moments where you connect with some loved ones, friends and the laughter just roles.

This morning has me thinking about the roles we all play, I firmly believe that our connections either bring out the best, or the worst.  That the long connections, brief connections, short connections, all play a part in the interconnections of our souls journey.  I believe that people come into our lives either a lesson or a blessing.

The truth is the process of elimination & discernment to discover which, at times through the journey of these processes in takes time for revelations to reveal themselves, what comes after dark, always comes to light.

Make sure though that those that are present and who have shown up you appreciate them, please do let them know that they matter, that they feel important to your heart and your soul, for there is nothing sweeter than feeling acknowledged, validated, and noticed from that loving space of appreciation, who doesn’t like to feel appreciated? validated and acknowledged.

Look out for the positive interactions, those that support you to become the best version of you, and remembering it is a two way street, equally that you support those that mean something to you, to become the best version of them.

Life and its connections always ought to be about give and take in equal measure, not take, take, take, that is an imbalance that both parties can do without.

Sometimes the lessons or the blessings come to realisation later on, but most of all let your soul guide you as to who feels “right”  who feels a right fit, you cannot go wrong with that inner gut antennae that speaks volumes as it either feels good, or feels uncomfortable in its gnawing truth.

Thank all those that have been a blessing, never forgetting a moment of gratitude for all of the lessons and the blessings, in whichever way they come.

Have a great week ahead,

With love & light, Susan xxxx

 

Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching 29258579_640976379573874_8486568649174286336_o10277005_701498216574361_3112295131616827545_n

 

Being disconnected!

Happy Saturday,

I have my quiet thinking reflective head on today, and have been thinking about the subject of loneliness, and isolation.  Facebook helps many feel connected virtually, yet we appear to be living in a world where a vast amount of people feel a sense of loneliness at the very core.

The virtual world, of Texting, Whats app, Messenger, Hangouts, Email, Snap chat and many others, do people actually talk to each other anymore?

Connections being made by text, conversations by text alone, appears to have produced a laziness to connect in a very real way.  And yet there are many that feel a sense of real loneliness!  I created a meme today and the caption said,

“Perhaps you feel empty? perhaps you feel that something is missing? Perhaps it is you that is missing? and you are the one you have been searching for!”

Interdependence is what we have been created for, I still believe this in many ways, yet there is a real disconnection with this happening, so many people searching for gratification outside of themselves, so many seeking for the void that they feel within themselves, to be filled through another.  When in essence to put your happiness at the hands of another is an expectation that may create a sense of dissatisfaction, because in essence another may not be able to meet that expectation.

How many times do you allow yourself to sit and be present with yourself? and to real feel a sense of connection with YOU!, There is so much that you can do when you are present with “Self”, there are things that you can do to fill your time, there are things that you can engage in to make yourself feel whole.

We live in a society that fosters being with another, and yes I do believe whether we like to admit it or not, we all do need someone, but I have come to learn that the time that we can truly be happy, is when we have allowed ourselves the journey of being happy and present with “self”.  That place when you feel a sense of peace and acceptance and being at one with YOU.  It is then that I believe that we can truly connect with another, essentially because the pressure and need, the expectation for another to fill the void that you may be feeling becomes less.  I love nothing that spending time quietly with myself, being in silence at times, listening to music sometimes, dancing, reading, researching, writing, doing things that need to be done, watching some TV, going out in nature and capturing beauty on my camera or on my phone, sometimes jumping on a bus and going to the beach.  There is no expectation from me for another to fill my silence, I can do that.

It is when you finally get to a place of acceptance, and being at one with yourself, that you will find another.  Ironically the very world that has now been created with social media, is connected yet disconnected, does that make sense to you! It has also fostered lazy behaviour where people feel that they no longer have to put the effort in, this goes to both males and females, it is all to easy to drop a message than actually pick up the phone, or pick up the phone and arrange a face to face meeting to really connect.  Like everything connection has even come at a price of disposal, almost like online shopping, pick what you like and then clicking.

Its sad really, a World that is connected, yet so disconnected.

I know that I would prefer to smell a persons presence, to feel their presence, to be able to hear the tone of their voice, their facial expressions, the tone of their vocabulary, how they express themselves, and yet no longer do I desire to just “Settle”, for I have learnt it is healthier to be alone, than with a connection that doesn’t feel real.

“Connect with what’s real, so you can feel!!

In love & light, Susan xxx

copyright! Susan Lawrence Soul Coachingmeditation_by_psychedelicstuff-d55hywb

 

The energy of the “2”

Good Morning, Happy Summer Solstice,

The sun is shining, beaming and I feel that for many of us, its presence will lift up our energy.  The elements can do that can’t they!

Well today’s energy in terms of the date is a fabulous “2” in its duality, it denotes a sense of togetherness, working together, feminine in its principled energy, the letters B.K.T mean something, in its element its Yin.  The colours associated which are good for today are Orange, Salmon, Peach, Gold.

The stone associated is Moonstone.  The Tarot Card related is the High Priestess, oh my your intuition is going to feel high, high today, trust it, it has something to tell you.

I share with you today’s live video relating which has been shared on my facebook business page, Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching

https://www.facebook.com/susanlawrencesoulcoaching/ join me.

 

Have a blessed and beautiful start of the Summer Solstice.

In love & Light Susan xxinstaquote-21-06-2018-10-25-55 (1)photo-1495653797063-114787b77b23

What is your power? unique to YOU!

It has been a while since I have written anything, its been a quiet reflective time of re-evaluation!   This is essential in a period of transition.  I hope that this finds you well today as you read.

I wanted to write about the energy of the numbers.  “Numerology” each of us do hold within our souls purpose a blueprint and purpose in relation to our Birth Name, Birth date.  So I thought it would be a useful exercise to show a reflection of each number and what that means.

Number 1 – relates to new beginnings, independence, innovation, leadership, masculine principle.

Number 2 – relates harmony, unity, relationships, co-operation, feminine principle

Number 3 – saying one’s truth, imagination, creativity, optimism, playfulness, creative expression

Number 4 – building, formation, hard work, endurance, seriousness, practicality

Number 5 – change, transition, progressive thinking, resourceful, freedom, versatility, promotion.

Number 6 – balance, nurturing, service orientated, responsibility and duty, family focus, marriage and divorce number, domestic and work issues

Number 7 – analysis, research, science, technology, solitude, wisdom, spiritual focus, investigative, mystical and metaphysical

Number 8 – authority, power, finances, business, success, material wealth, organization, self-mastery.

Number 9 – endings, vision, tolerance, transformation, spiritual consciousness, cosmic, teaching, global awareness, perfection.

Master Numbers

Number 11 – master of illumination, the inspirational messenger, the number of light, one who raises consciousness, reformer of world problems, wants to uplift others, inspires by teaching own truth

Number 22 – master builder, visionary knows how to plan and execute large projects, wants to further consciousness of humanity, especially feminine consciousness, powerful skills of manifestation, the humanitarian

Number 33 – teacher of teachers, master of compassion, master of healing through love, use of creative energies to serve others

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If you would like a reading with the principles of using Angel cards, Intuition, Numerology and Astrology, please do get in contact by emailing susanlawrencesoulcoaching@gmail.com, cost and times will be discussed at your point of contact.

You have so much more hidden potential than you realise.

My number vibration is a 33/6 just to give you a little insight!

In love, light and blessings, Susan xx

Allow your soul to go where it feels celebrated!

Happy Sunday lunar time,

I have not long returned home from a jaunt in Manchester.  What has really struck a chord with me is how beautiful it can be to get away and have a change of scenery.  I have been feeling of late it is all work, work, work and very little change, so I set about creating the change I desired and went away for the weekend to a music event where I could set my soul free through dance and music, so freeing, so liberating and so regenerative.

You see when you become mindful of your life its content, its workings both from an inner and outer perspective you do recognize what needs to be shifted, I did.  Right now as I write I am listening to 432 Hz Binaural Beats music and it is really doing wonders for my soul.

You see you can too be the change you desire, where do you see an imbalance in your life? what do you feel isn’t quite working? feeling quite right? sitting quite right? what do you feel you can do to change that?

Reflect!!

It struck a chord with me that we can go anywhere where our soul feels celebrated, you see our soul family come in many shapes and forms, earth angels, spiritual angels, spirit guides, ancestors, work colleague, intimate relationships, siblings, children, friends, it is important to allow your soul to direct you to where you feel most celebrated, there is nothing more powerful than feeling a sense of oneness with another, despite the resistance, we all do crave this, its human, it a necessary component of feeling a sense of belonging.  Whilst at the same time, if you have gotten to a stage of feeling comfortable with your aloneness, this sets you in a good place.  A healthy place, a place where that interdependence is not born out of need but a simple desire, the two are intrinsically different.

Be thankful the moments where you feel at one with another, or others for that too is a gift, when you feel a sense of acceptance, when you feel a sense of joy, a sense of love, and a sense of just being able to be you, how beautifully soul powerful is that.

So please do become aware of where your soul feels celebrated, it saves you wasting precious energy on connections that are not good for your soul and vice versa.

Go where you feel celebrated, for this too is a gift.

In love & light, Susan xxxx

(photo credit Le-Kiet) le-kiet-384971-unsplash.jpg