I just had some thoughts after seeing a meme that really resonated with me this morning, it spoke volumes in its raw truth and it got me thinking about creating a space for vulnerability from an authentic place and what can stop this from happening.
First and foremost allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a risky thing right? it does take courage to expose yourself, from an observational point of view and viewing society as a whole, and through the lens of perhaps some would say a little cynicism, we do live in a society where we are conditioned to keep a tight lid on our emotions. I have always maintained that doing such is not conducive to a healthy mental and emotional state, suppression of such only adds to inner turmoil, I feel. But what are the very things that can stunt the process of allowing emotional vulnerability?, I have identified a few and these are as follows:-
- A fear and inability to effectively deal with conflict
- A fear of being judged
- A fear of ones vulnerability being taken for a weakness
- Not feeling safe in the relationship to express ones vulnerabilities in the first instance
- Cultural considerations
- Gender considerations
- Using Alcohol and Drugs to stunt emotional expression
These are just a few, so where do we draw the line? and how?
There is something refreshing about being given an opportunity to truly feel another persons emotions, even in their raw truth state, even if we get to hear something that can feel a little uncomfortable to hear, it is better to be comforted with the truth, than with a lie, don’t you agree?
But consider for a moment some of the reasons above why this may not be happening. I have come to realize over a passage of time and through the years, that whilst you may feel comfortable with exposing your truth, it does not always mean that “other” is comfortable. Having said this though there is something that can be said when dealing with polar opposites, an effective communicator v another who perhaps finds it a challenge and does not feel comfortable, safe, or ready. I do believe that every connection that we encounter serves its own soul purpose, sometimes each one teach one, and sometimes it may just be to highlight an area for another soul to address that they may not have felt ready, nor willing to confront. I am also a great believer that the Universe provides opportunities for growth, perhaps where we procrastinate, hide behind or do not feel ready to deal with, it has a way sometimes of catapulting us to take control of our wheel and deal with it, via a situation, circumstance or scenario that forces us in a position where we no longer have a choice.
There is absolutely no doubt exposing your innermost feelings, emotions, truths is “Risky” but so is not exposing how you feel which can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, anger, projection, deflection and avoidance of the truth.
The only true way that we can merge truthfully with others is to own our truth, speak it, show it, but there is absolutely no guarantee that “other” will behave, nor act in the same manner, in truth we can only ever be responsible for what we choose to do, we do not really have a say in what “other” chooses to do.
Another consideration is about being in soul alignment with another, it takes time to actually realize whether this is the case, the kindest thing that can be achieved upon the realisation that this is not the case is learning to let go, this serves a great purpose for both, as the old saying goes, “The Truth Shall Set You Free”.
Happy expressing, what do you really have to lose.
Have a great day. In love & Light, Susan xx
Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching xx